In the flurry of dozens of goodbye hugs before going home, I said to one Friend, “Well, I guess it’s back to the real world now.” He answered, “Oh no, no. This is the real world. The rest of life is what’s not real.” I had to agree.
The Western Young Friends New Years Gathering exists in its own special time. To get there, we pack ourselves tight into cars with sleep bags and snacks, and we travel to the real world.
The night before leaving for the gathering this year, I got a call from one of the people that I would be carpooling with. When I asked him where I should pick him up, he answered, “I live on 10th and University in Berkeley.” “Wait!” I said, “That’s where I live!” This Friend and I had been living two houses away from each other for months without knowing it. I wonder how many gifts surround us that we fail to notice. The next day, the Quaker love began. On the ride up, we ate peppermint chocolate left over from Christmas, sang at the top of our lungs to the radio, and flew to another land.
At the New Years Gathering we cry, we laugh, we fall in love, we let our hearts be broken, and we encounter Spirit. We receive the gift of time away from all the superfluous details of daily life. I am amazed by how much life can be packed into one week when it is simplified like this. When friends and family ask, “So what do you actually do at this gathering?” I have to take a minute to think. The gathering feels so special and sacred. What we do is make delicious meals together. We play games that last for hours. We hike in the woods. We hold some kind of daily worship, usually worship sharing. We sing. In the spaces between the comings and goings – this is where the magic happens. Having time dedicated to just being with each other allows us a kind of connection that has a golden quality.
One of my favorite parts of this gathering happens on New Years Eve. Around 10pm, we get in our PJs and bring our sleeping bags and flimsy foam mattresses from the cabins into the common room. We pile into a big cuddle puddle. One family appears in matching jammies, and we all take a moment to “ooo” and “ahhh” over how cute it is that the parents and their little boy are all matching.
Someone throws another log on the fire, and we begin our letter writing. Those of us who were at the gathering the previous year get the letters that we wrote to ourselves back then. After reading those letters, we write new letters to ourselves that we will open next year. I’ve never known exactly what to write in these letters, looking forward to another year of immense changes and of the Divine guiding me in ways I can never imagine. As we write our letters, some people cry, some smile to themselves, and others concentrate on drawing pictures to open next year. I am comforted by the consistency of the gathering. In the seven years that I have been going to the gathering, I finished college, traveled, had life changing relationships, felt grief I thought would never end, and felt joy that I treasured like a cat treasures that sunny spot on the coach.
After the letter writing, we settle into worship with two small pieces of paper. On one, we will write something that we want to let go of, and on the other, something that we want to take with us into the New Year. Many people share what they’ve written, then throw the paper into the fire. This year, I shared that I want to love myself as much as my dog loves me! Friends share breath-taking honesty during New Years worship. Perhaps because it’s a last chance to let go of the baggage of the year. Whatever the reason, there are a lot of tears and laughter. In the midst of the sleeping bags and crying and holding, I see the Divine so clearly. God is all of it.
After we have passed into the new year, we close worship and have a big hugging fest. Starting the New Year with thirty-plus hugs is pretty awesome. Then we enjoy Maia’s famous shortbread, which she of course makes in three varieties to accommodate everyone’s dietary needs. Then we sing and star gaze and wonder what this next year will bring.
Right now, I am in seminary studying to become a Quaker hospice chaplain. Through this education, I have been exposed to numerous denominations and have attended a variety of worship services. In pretty much all of them, as soon as the services begin, we stand up, sing a song, sit down, and listen to a scripture reading; then there’s a devotion, a song, the sermon, another song and finally, the benediction. These services are so over stimulating to me that I need the rest of the day to unwind. Sitting in worshipful Quaker silence for an hour renews me so much more than an hour packed full of activity. When we are constantly busy, whether with secular or religious activities, we leave no space to experience the beautiful and abundant present.
I think that Quakers do a really good job of embodying the idea that less is more. The New Years Gathering gives me a chance to stop. To stop and really look into the eyes of my friends, to really take in the world’s natural beauty, and to truly feel the aliveness of the Spirit within.
This next year will be the 40th anniversary of the New Years Gathering. Come celebrate with us! ~~~
Larissa Keeler grew up in Live Oak Meeting in the Monterey Bay, California (PYM). She now attends Strawberry Creek Friends Meeting in Berkeley, and is working on her Masters of Divinity at Pacific School of Religion with the goal of using this degree to become a Quaker hospice chaplain. Larissa loves to run, dress her Chihuahua in hand knit rainbow sweaters, and laugh with friends.