We Almost Cancelled Yearly Meeting

North Pacific Yearly Meeting almost canceled Annual Sessions in Missoula, Montana, after the state legislature passed a law requiring people to use the bathroom corresponding to their gender assigned at birth.

The university where the meeting was held initially required us to provide a list of participants' names and genders assigned at birth. This requirement was put on hold after a lawsuit was filed, just before we held our first-ever yearly meeting-wide Zoom business meeting. During that meeting in May 2025, our transgender Friends advocated for going, and we decided to attend and do our best to provide security and safety for them.

I felt better when I learned that Missoula had adopted the Pride flag as its city flag, allowing it to be flown throughout Montana.

Upon our arrival in Missoula after a two-day road trip from western Washington, we were greeted at registration by an enthusiastic group of kids. They encouraged us to "take a t-shirt, a button, and a sticker," all of which celebrated Pride, our transgender Friends, and the Quaker relationship with the queer community. The T-shirts read, "Quakers love trans people" and "Quakers support trans rights." Our registration packet also included the trans minute we had approved in 2017. Four paragraphs from that minute read:

"North Pacific Yearly Meeting understands that the Divine Source is leading our meeting to honor the gender identity and expression of each person, as understood by that person…We recognize that when we embrace the Light within the full spectrum of gender identities in our meeting, our worship deepens and our community is enriched."

"North Pacific Yearly Meeting minutes our commitment to becoming an affirming, safe, and nurturing place for everyone to live fully that which the Spirit is leading them to be."

We also received a note from the NPYM Safety Committee, who shared that they felt called to protect the physical and spiritual safety of our transgender Friends at and beyond our Annual Session—including, if necessary, from within the yearly meeting itself. They invited all Friends within NPYM to join them and provided a list of actions to take in response to transphobia. This list included a lesson on how to gently correct pronouns and how to accept a correction without making a big deal of it.

Soon, a sea of gray T-shirts celebrating our trans Friends filled the room. Later, we joined a weekly Missoula demonstration on a pedestrian overpass, holding signs and flags supporting trans and immigrant rights. With our enthusiastic gaggle of kids and our FCNL banner that read "Love your neighbor no exceptions," we were a welcome additional presence.

Our community's support for immigrants was also clear. When the possibility of joining a lawsuit was mentioned, a chorus of "I approve" was immediately voiced. By the time it was brought up again at a later business meeting, the Quakers were ready to say yes and leave the details in the hands of a few. When asked if anyone had concerns, only one person spoke, and they were in favor of the lawsuit but had a question. This was extremely unusual for our yearly meeting.

The feeling was so different from the year we approved the trans minute. That had involved a year of visiting Meetings to gain support, and the approval felt reluctant. Some very transphobic things were said. We got our minute, but our transgender Friends returned home disheartened. Many quit going to their local Meeting while continuing to be involved in FLGBTQC, Friends for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer Concerns. Now, our trans families were at the center of our community, being celebrated and loved.

As I connected with dear friends, I heard people anticipating the actions they might take—that they might be in jail next year or that they would be sheltering people in need.

Between these anticipations, a business meeting where the Spirit was truly moving among us, and the outpouring of love and support for our transgender Friends, I felt we were becoming like the early Quakers. We were truly paying attention to what Spirit calls us to do in each moment and discerning together as a body where Spirit is calling us.

Caroline Wildflower is a member of Port Townsend Friends Meeting (NPYM)