My Anchor Committee Nurtured My Spiritual Gifts

My leading to be of service to homeless men and women was planted years before I acted on it. It kept nagging at me as I moved ahead with my busy life. I finally volunteered with a couple of homeless agencies and then went to the Neil Good Day Center in San Diego where 300-500 homeless individuals hung out during the day to avoid being cited for loitering. Many had been on the streets for 15-20 years and were broken emotionally, mentally and spiritually. My calling was very strong but I found myself sinking in despair after a few months as I witnessed the suffering of those who I had befriended.

I knew I couldn’t turn my back on them and reached out to my Meeting. My request was graciously answered and I was given a support committee (Anchor Committee) of four Friends who had experience working with homeless individuals, pastoral care and living marginally. We met regularly and it was an enormous help and comfort. With their loving attention and acceptance, I felt comfortable talking about my experiences and felt that they could really understand the joys and sorrows of this work. I was buoyed by their deep listening, validation, suggestions and holding me and my homeless friends in the Light. Their devoted care of me and concern for my friends helped enormously. I felt that they had really heard my stories and shared my affection and concern for the people at the Center. We met approximately every 6 weeks.

Meeting with my committee made all the difference; I felt I had allies who truly understood my struggles and who lovingly supported me. With their support, I found the spiritual strength to do this work for many years. They were generous in assuring me that their service to me was joyful and not a burden. I am so grateful to have had this resource.

They also checked in with me to make sure that I had balance in my life. I was taking good care of my physical health but needed to have more play time, which I incorporated with their encouragement. Play seems to always fade in the background when I get busy. When I have time, I enjoy needlepoint and I've started reading novels in addition to non-fiction.

It's especially tricky these days with caregiving for family members as well as Meeting responsibilities. I have deliberately blocked out a day in the calendar for my husband and I to get out of the house and I make sure we do something that day. It always includes a walk in some lovely location and breakfast or lunch out. Last week we spent 2 and a half hours at the zoo. Being out in nature always feeds my soul.

Below is a vignette describing a one-time meeting with a homeless woman. If it weren’t for the spiritual support I received, I would not have been emotionally strong enough for this encounter.

It was the day after Christmas; knowing that many staff members and volunteers would be vacationing, I wanted to reach out to my homeless friends who get no vacation from being on the streets and who might be extra depressed at this holiday time. There had been a heavy rain the night before. On my way over to the Day Center, I met an extremely thin White woman about 50 years old sitting on the wet sidewalk picking up tiny bits of paper with her wet clothing scattered around her. Natalie was very disoriented.

My first instinct was to walk away, telling myself she’s too disturbed. However, my conscience nagged at me and I thought at least I could get her into some dry clothing. With a lot of effort, I gathered up her wet blankets, clothing and other gear. As she followed me, she stopped frequently to pick up little bits of litter on the ground and I kept urging her to come with me.

When we arrived, I learned that she had been banned from the Center for flagrant drug use; I begged for her to be let in to at least to get into dry clothes. Staff agreed and gave me the key to the storage room. Once we got in the room, she was like an out- of-control puppy. She tore into the boxes of clothing throwing them onto the ground.

Giving her eye contact, I firmly said: “Natalie, please sit down. We can’t make a mess. I will bring you items to look at.”

She would comply for a minute or two and then resume her rummaging. I had to continually make her look at me and repeat the direction to sit down. This cycle went on several times.

We found some tops and, with a lot of difficulty, I helped her peel off her wet clothing and put on dry underwear and one of the shirts. I could only find one pair of pants and it was too large for her. She said, “I need a belt to hold the pants up. Otherwise, I’ll get raped again.” These were the first words she spoke. My heart broke as I searched for a belt.

Then she found a scarf which she tied on her head in a fashionable manner. After she had her allotment of clothing and was wearing a dry outfit, she pulled out a grey sweater. “Natalie, you already have more clothes than you are allowed.” She begged: “Please!!! I want to look like you.” I was wearing a grey sweater. My heart broke again. I could tell by her choices of clothing that she had an artistic sense and was trying to resurrect the woman that she had once been and retrieve some semblance of dignity.

I got her out of the storage room and she plunked down on the floor, saying she was starving. I found a granola bar and gave it to her. She stuffed it in her mouth and tried chewing it but it was spilling out onto her chin. I was repelled until I realized she had no teeth with which to bite it; then I felt devastated for her and found some yogurt. She fell asleep there and I haven’t seen her since.

Natalie’s sorrow haunts me to this day. I have no idea how she became addicted; I could only look at the effects. It is not for me to judge but instead to advocate for prevention and treatment of this scourge which takes hold of an individual and rules their life.

In summary, I feel so blessed to have had four Friends who walked with me and helped me develop the strength and skills to accompany those who are suffering.

Judy Leshefka is a member of La Jolla Friends Meeting in San Diego where she lives with her husband, Jack. The vignette is from a book she is writing about the homeless individuals she has encountered. Her hope is to put a face on those who are forced to live on the streets and create more compassion for them.