Quakerism as Gateway

Meg (they/them) is the Young Friends Coordinator for North Pacific Yearly Meeting. They have been described as “Fired up about Young Friends”. They are a talented organizer who brings embodied presence and excitement wherever they go. We’re incredibly lucky to receive their gifts and service. This interview was modified for brevity and clarity.

Caitlin: How did you come to know about the Religious Society of Friends?

Meg: This June is the 10-year anniversary of my first Meeting at Ithaca Monthly Meeting in New York. I was raised Episcopalian and went to a Jesuit university, so religion was always a part of my life. But I struggled with how everyone would be together in worship, and then afterwards, in the social hall, I would hear them being catty. It didn’t feel like what God wanted for us. In 2016, my friend’s mom went to a Quaker meeting and told me about it. I had been looking for a spiritual home—I had taught Sunday school and played violin in the choir. My friend’s mom mentioned it was quiet, so I researched Quakers. The history of their activism is what drew me in, and the concept of silent meditation intrigued me. I went to my first meeting in June of 2016 in Ithaca. It was a beautiful meeting house, and everyone kicked their shoes off at the door. I sat down in the seat closest to the door, took a breath, and felt God everywhere. I just started crying. It wasn’t sobbing; it was just tears streaming down my face. Looking back, I realize I have always been a Quaker. That was the moment of my convincement—my awareness and acceptance that this was for me.

Caitlin: What excites you about the future of Friends in the West, particularly young friends, and what are the challenges?

Meg: Going to the FWCC World Plenary in 2024 was my first time in an all-young adult space. This was only the third international gathering young adult Friends have ever had. It was powerful be in South Africa and to sit with people my age dealing with the same struggles: how to have a career and be aligned with what God wants for us. I am not out here making money because God told me to; I am asking how I can make money in a way that makes Spirit happy. We discussed our similarities and differences, and I realized that the core tenet—the personal connection with God—is enough to hold the community together. It is an accountability to that “still, small voice” I cannot escape.

By going to the World Plenary I discovered that everywhere has a thriving Young Adult Friends community—European Middle East friends, Latin American friends, Asia West Pacific—and I wondered where our cohesion was in the Americas section. That was the catalyst for the work I have done. In the two years since, Portland Young Adult Friends have started a group chat, and we just had our two-year anniversary. It doesn’t seem like much, but we support each other. I am really excited to start catalyzing that across our region. I roped Zach White (of Multnomah Friends Meeting) into joining me; I told him, “You are my elder now.”

Quakerism is a gateway for people to center themselves outside of themselves. I lobbied for this YAF position because I kept getting told there was a YAF committee in NPYM, but everyone I contacted had aged out, and COVID had put the kibosh on it. So, I decided we needed to start smaller: just building community. The goal of this role is to encourage local meetings to connect with their YAFs and recognize that they are an important part of the community. We want to encourage YAFs to show up to quarterly meetings and annual sessions—we can all be together and we don’t have to plan anything, just show up.

Caitlin: Are you a paid YAF coordinator for NPYM?

Meg: It is not a paid position. I get travel reimbursement and hospitality, and my registration fees are covered.

Since October, you can see in the NPYM newsletter all the things we have done. There are now new YAF groups forming. It is very informal—just a group chat or email thread. My hope is that the more YAFs are engaged in Quaker decision-making, the more we can shape the future for ourselves, because we are the ones inheriting it. We bring a different perspective on how to get things done. We are overburdened with bureaucracy. For example, I have been an advocate for our annual session to not be centered on business. We have the technology to do business outside of it. We can only hold hands and share a meal together once a year. I know the older generation feels technology messes with worship, and I acknowledge it changes the context, but technology is here. It is not going away. How does our relationship with Spirit change with technology? That is a question for the youth to grapple with.

The challenges are daunting. When people say, “The children are our future,” I say, “No, they are the right now.” We are working for the benefit of the future, but we are the “right now.” Also, having a career is different than it was 40 years ago. People are juggling so much. For our annual session, I advocated for a later start time—breakfast at 7:00 a.m. is really hard for a family with three kids. People liked the idea, but it turned into a logistical nightmare regarding meal schedules. The challenge is balancing these responsibilities while trying to keep it fun. My goal is to make this position obsolete because we eventually have a YAF committee planning events.

Caitlin: What do you want young people considering Quakerism to know?

Meg: We offer a space to connect with something greater than themselves, not just in terms of community, but Spirit. It is offered in a way that doesn’t tell you what to do or how to do it. It is just openness. If anyone is curious about how to connect with that abstract feeling, Quakerism provides that openness. It doesn’t have to be inherently religious. Anyone looking to connect with activists can find that space, and it is grounded in principles. There are non-theist Quakers at my meeting. I see it as more an alignment of values than religion.

Caitlin: I agree that you can have diversity of belief held together though shared values.

I am in the process of welcoming in a Quaker Voluntary Service Fellow to Western Friend, and I hoped they would attend quarterly meetings. Hearing that you and Zach are a presence there makes me feel that they will have support.

Meg: They are welcome to carpool with us. For this upcoming quarterly, it looks like there will be ten YAFs there. The community is growing. (Editors note: there turned out to be 17 YAFs there).