A Quaker Career

I grew up regularly attending Palo Alto Monthly Meeting while active in the youth program there. At 10 years old, I joined the Children’s Education Committee because I thought there should be a voice of the youth on the committee. Though only a child at the time, I was already beginning my journey in youth work. The next year, at 11 years old, I applied for membership in my Meeting and was approved. As a member in my teens and early 20s, I found joy in taking care of the babies at Palo Alto MM, working at the Ben Lomond Quaker Center summer camp, and finding the Friends General Conference Gathering High School group and working with the youth program there, eventually leading workshops with a teen focus. As a teen, I went on American Friends Service Committee (AFSC) work trips, went to the Western Young Friends New Year’s Gathering, and attended John Woolman School.

It was on an AFSC work trip with Mike Gray, of Intermountain Yearly Meeting, that I found out my grandmother was in a coma and not likely to wake up again. Knowing that I had the emotional support from the group on that trip made me feel safe. I have fond memories of growing up in the JYM group at PYM and would often find myself thinking of others in the teen group and AYF as “family”—almost like cousins—and the PYM-AS as a family reunion. As a result, I have found that I was able to make and maintain friendships not only with people in my age group, but with the adults who were our leaders and with the younger Friends for whom I’ve served as an adult leader.

That said, there were times when some of us teens had to tell the Adult YM “what for.” One year, my good friend Zackery Moon and I stood together in a plenary in the face of the Meeting and told them we needed to support marriage equality—that Friends needed to be on the right side of history on this issue. The Yearly Meeting listened to the voice of youth when we made ourselves heard. My family were regular attenders at PYM.

I’ve seen a lot of Friends leave Quakerism and come back when they had kids of their own, and some move to other places but remain active as I did. Others have been lost to the wind as they find other paths to walk. My family moved back to the Pacific Northwest in 2015, and the first North Pacific Yearly Meeting (NPYM) I attended, I saw old Friends and it truly felt like I was coming home. My kids were welcomed into the youth program with open arms and have flourished in that supportive community.

A couple of years ago, the Youth Program Coordinator stepped down and Way Opened for me to apply for the position and achieve my childhood dream of becoming a professional Quaker. Now that I am on the other side of this dynamic, I have a greater appreciation for what all the adults running our programs had to deal with to allow us to feel like we had that much freedom.

The love and support I received from Friends when I was a kid and teen allowed me to confidently step into a leadership role as an adult. I value the friends I’ve made and experiences I’ve had as a result of being part of a strong, close-knit youth group. I’ve seen how the community here has been supportive of my kids, and now I get to be one of the people who makes that kind of safe and inclusive space for the youth of NPYM.

Suebear Hebner is part of Multnomah Monthly Meeting and is the Youth Program Coordinator for NPYM. She lives in Portland, OR, with her husband, Benji, and their two kids, Artan and Rosie.