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Memorials: Boulder Friends Meeting

Tony Umile

Date of birth

March 17, 1938

Date of death

Aug. 30, 2022

Meeting

Boulder Friends Meeting

Memorial minute

Tony Umile, age 84, was struck by a car on August 30, 2022, while crossing a street on his daily walk to his favorite coffee shop, where he had long since become a beloved regular, chatting with friends while reading the New York Times. He succumbed to his multiple injuries within hours, leaving behind a large family and a host of friends who loved him.

Tony was born in Manhattan General Hospital on March 17, 1938, into a Sicilian immigrant family in New York City. He was one of two children of Rose and John Umile. His younger sister died of an illness when Tony was 4, and the tragedy colored his family’s life. Tony was, however, a gregarious child who sought companionship among cousins and found adventure exploring Manhattan and later joining the Boy Scouts. He was a lifelong Yankees fan. On a Boy Scout trip to Colorado, he scaled the summit of Pikes Peak. Not knowing how cold it could be - and half-frozen - he nevertheless fell in love with the mountains of Colorado.

Tony later attended the University of Colorado in Boulder, where he earned his B.A. degree in Psychology. While a student, he learned photography, operated the lights for CU’s Little Theatre, became a peace activist, and fell in love with his wife of 57 years, Laurel Ann Flanders, of Longmont, Colorado. They married in Longmont on July 4, 1965, and made their first home in San Francisco, where Tony worked as a juvenile probation officer. Tony and Laurel loved the Bay Area, but wanderlust led them to spend nearly a year in Italy, where they studied Tony’s first language, Italian. They traveled to every region, though spending most of their visit in Perugia. A love of Italy and all things Italian remained important to both. Visitors to their home were treated to Tony’s wonderful Italian cooking and, in later years, Tony took up the study of Italian again at CU.

Tony and Laurel moved briefly to Kentucky before returning home to Longmont after starting their family, with Tony as the stay-at-home parent. Tony is survived by his wife Laurel and their two children, Barbara Umile and Mark Umile, by his brothers- and sisters-in-law, John and Laurie Flanders, Lynette Flanders Moyer, and Paul and Dianne Flanders, all of Longmont, and by his beloved cousins-in-law, Francea Flanders Phillips and Fred and Melody Flanders, as well as many nieces and nephews. He is also survived by his long-time devoted caregiver, Michael Schwarz. Tony was deeply woven into his Colorado family and spent all holidays, many hikes, overseas trips, birthday celebrations, and political discussions as part of the extended Flanders family.

Tony started a photography business in Longmont. He won several photography awards and joined the Professional Photographers of Colorado. A dedicated promoter of the arts in Longmont, he was influential in the creation and development of the Firehouse Art Center, where he exhibited photographs and supported the work of other artists. He was a leader in the Colorado Mountain Club. He climbed Longs Peak six times as well as other Fourteeners, spent many happy hours hiking, and until recent years was well known for his routine of jogging all through the neighborhood of Old Town Longmont.

Tony discovered the Religious Society of Friends while living in the Bay Area. On being taken to a Quaker Meeting for the first time by a friend, he immediately knew he’d found his spiritual home. For him, silence was validation and acceptance, for which he was deeply grateful. He became a member of the Strawberry Hill Meeting in Berkeley, transferring his membership to the Boulder Meeting when he and Laurel settled in Longmont. He faithfully attended the summer gatherings of Intermountain Yearly Meeting (IMYM), beginning with the very first of them, held at Ghost Ranch in 1975. His son Mark loved IMYM as much as Tony did—indeed, the two of them often attended together. He served on pretty much every committee in Boulder, and served as Clerk of the Boulder Meeting at least twice. He spent many years as a member of the Peace and Social Justice Committee, and did draft counseling during the Viet Nam war. He also worked extensively on peace issues with the American Friends Service Committee, once visiting the Middle East on an AFSC-sponsored fact-finding trip. It’s also remembered that Tony and Laurel joined one of the first of Boulder Meeting’s extended families. While virtually all of Boulder’s original extended families broke up over the years, Tony’s extended family continues to this day.

Most of all, Tony’s Quaker Faith infused his daily life. A good steward of the environment and a true witness to the Testimony of Simplicity as well as Peace, he almost always used public transport, whether to go to Denver to visit art galleries or to go to Boulder for Meeting for Worship. In fact, his commitment to public transport was so great that he continued traveling to Boulder by bus almost to the end even though the trip required taking three different buses in each direction. During the memorial service conducted to celebrate his life, his daughter Barbara recounted that, looking through the Longmont Times-Call for his obituary, she found one more in a long series of letters to the editor from Tony criticizing RTD service and suggesting improvements.

Beyond bringing his Quaker Faith into daily life, Tony also brought the perspective of daily life to Meeting. As one Quaker friend noted, Tony was one of a handful of small-business owners in a Meeting where, until quite recently, most members were teachers either in local schools or at the university. As the same friend explains, this gave his membership a groundedness and humility that was a gift and a lesson to everyone, especially when combined with his earthy plain-spokenness and humor.

Tony will be remembered and beloved by the Boulder Meeting and his large social network for many years to come.