Catulle Albert deSousa Mendes, a beloved member of the San Francisco Friends Meeting, died peacefully in his nursing home in Millbrae, California in June. “Cat” was extremely faithful and punctual in his attendance at Meeting for Worship and Meeting for Business, and although we knew him only in the last fifteen years of his life, the richness of his relationship to SFFM is unlikely to be forgotten.
Born to Portuguese immigrants in Atwater, Cat was extremely proud of his heritage. After leaving California, Cat lived in New York City, London, Lisbon, and Frankfurt. He worked as a commissioned salesman for Paul Stewart on Madison Avenue and served as a union representative negotiating contracts. At one point, Cat enrolled at The College of St. Albert, where he majored in Roman Catholic theology in part to avoid being drafted into the Korean War. He became a monk, but left the order after six years. Cat spoke fondly of his partner Jack, to whom he was committed for many years before Jack died. When he came to our meeting around 2001, Cat was looking for an anti-war group to join. He found the San Francisco Friends Meeting after walking by our building and seeing our sign. It is very safe to say he never missed a Meeting for Worship or Meeting for Business after that.
Cat was an extremely independent and charismatic man. Although elderly, infirm, and with diminishing eyesight, Cat was always dressed in layers of vividly colorful coats, hats, and scarves. These accentuated his small stature and friendly twinkle in his eye. Cat was particularly fond of the expression, “You Quakers.” One day, after sharing very moving vocal ministry on racism, a Friend persuaded him that “you Quakers” didn’t capture the correct spirit anymore, and should be “We Quakers.” He then applied for membership and was welcomed into the San Francisco Friends Meeting in 2007. Friends’ silent worship felt natural to Cat as he had been involved in meditation practice as a devotee of Krishnamurti.
Cat was at one with our aims of simplicity, honesty, and care for others. Cat carried his heart on his sleeve and was so articulate in his opinions. He would speak uncomfortable and unexpected truths rather than not speak at all. However, he never hurt anyone and was uncomfortable with those who did. Unapologetic about his identity as a gay man, Cat’s childlike ability to find wonder in the world around him was admirable. This is especially true as Cat lived in extremely reduced circumstances, so different from society’s norm.
The last years of Cat’s life were a challenge to those few around him. As infirmity and memory loss significantly diminished his activities of daily living, Cat had no immediate family to care for him. Yet Cat brought out the best in people. Friends often visited his single room occupancy hotel in the Tenderloin to offer care and support. One time, he collapsed on the sidewalk outside his building. He was carried inside and up to his room by total strangers, this act of kindness occurring on one of the most violent and crime ridden blocks in San Francisco was quite touching. By this time, Cat was truly on the margins of society. He was made a ward of the state and placed in several board and care homes for indigent people. He was watched over by an amazing caseworker, Ana Cristina Lola of Jewish Family Services. In addition, Friends from our meeting made the journey down the peninsula to worship with him during these last years. Cat was even visited on the night he died.
Cat is survived by a cousin, Charlene Pimental, in Atwater, CA. His best friend from childhood, Richard Paulson, also survives him. Cat leaves Friends with many wonderful memories.