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Memorials: Eugene Friends Meeting

Carol McBrian

Date of birth

June 26, 1948

Date of death

Jan. 14, 2014

Meeting

Eugene Friends Meeting

Memorial minute

Carol Feinberg McBrian passed on January 14, 2014, having suffered for years with Progressive Supranuclear Palsy, a disease of the central nervous system.

Carol was born to Bernard and Polly (Masiko) Feinberg in Oakland, California, on June 26, 1948. She earned degrees in music and education at Berkley and in math at the University of Oregon. She was a substitute teacher in music and math for years in Eugene and Springfield, Oregon.

Carol was a consummate musician, proficient on flute and piano. She sang, wrote original songs and vocal arrangements, and directed choirs at several churches. She was the first formal director of the Eugene Peace Choir in the 1980s, a choir that continues to this day. She performed locally as “Crazy Keyboard Carol.” We in the Eugene Friends Meeting never knew Carol in her “Crazy Carol” days, but when she found us about a decade ago, we loved her beautiful flute renditions on talent nights. However, she certainly did not come to our meeting for musical reasons. She joined our informal weekly singing circle, clearly wishing we were a choir and would sing on pitch! But she graciously continued to sing with us, always requesting to sing, “Open my eyes that I may see, visions of truth thou hast for me…,” her favorite hymn.

Another of her passions was gardening. She became a Master Gardener, and besides nurturing her own lush personal garden, she was active in the Master Gardener group, as well as in providing leadership in the founding of the local, bountiful Grassroots Garden. The quote on her gravestone is “I am still composting.”

Carol was also a devoted activist and wrote a stream of cogent letters to the editor that exhibited a depth of knowledge about many subjects. Having helped to chase away a rapist in her neighborhood, she was instrumental in organizing a Neighborhood Night Out in Eugene. She publicly and effectively advocated for tree sitters engaged in nonviolent civil disobedience to protect old growth forests in the area, tramping in the forests with them and writing letters. More recently, she supported the Tibetan group here in their struggles.

Carol was deeply religious. A few selections from her Daily Prayer and Mission Statement reflect her commitment:

“Eternal Light, Eternal Truth, my Mother and my destination, I give you this day of my life. Let me live this day with courage, awareness, integrity, and love for all creatures. Let me slow down so that I may see each opportunity, hear each moment. Let me recognize Your hand in my life. Let Your Light shine in my heart…

Let me stand up for the Truth with courage and effectiveness…

Let me recognize which battles are mine to fight, which are mine to assist, and which are not mine…”

In Eugene Meeting we watched her decline. It was only in the last four years of her life that her illness was diagnosed, and her husband and we came to understand that she was living with a progressive illness. She never referred to it herself, and probably was unaware, but she lived with it quietly and with humility. During the last two years of her life, she lived in a memory care facility, where some of us were able to visit her. She lost the ability to move around and to talk, but she did not lose her memory, and when we sang her favorite hymns and songs, and when we sat with her in worship, we could see her mouth moving with us and her eyes responding. She died peacefully with her husband lying by her side, as he had done for hours day after day during those last two years.

She is survived by her husband of 23 years, John McBrian, of Eugene, by her sons, Angus Maguire of Eugene and Forest McBrian of Chamonix, France, by her brother, David Feinberg of Blodgett, Oregon, and by her grandchildren Molly and Griffin McGuire of Eugene.