Bert Kanewske was born August 27, 1946, in San Francisco, CA as the eldest child of Alethea LaGrave Kanewske and Kenneth Kanewske. Bert’s mother struggled with ALS for some time and Bert moved to Canada with her to be with her as she died. Kenneth died in 2014, after having remarried years before.
Bert was preceded in death by his sister Frances, brother David, and sister Karen. He is survived by his brother Paul. He was estranged from his former wives and children.
Bert had a long history with Quakers; his aunt Marcia was active in Pacific Yearly Meeting and introduced him to Quakers in his teens. He was a member of San Francisco Friends Meeting for some years until he left to attend his wife’s church.
He joined the Navy during the Vietnam War but soon realized he was a Conscientious Objector. He was put in the Navy prison, kept in solitary confinement, and beaten at times. Bert recalled another prisoner dying at the hands of the military who said he had died falling down the stairs. There were no stairs in the building according to Bert. The San Francisco Friends rallied behind Bert, visited him, and brought attention to his situation.
After discharge from the Navy, Bert worked as a journeyman machinist in various jobs along the West Coast.
Bert sought spiritual community at University Friends Meeting in 2001, after pleading guilty to level one child sexual abuse in Bellingham. He was sentenced to time in prison but was allowed to participate in a specialized intensive treatment program for sex offenders in lieu of extended prison time. The treatment program required that each participant engage with some form of spiritual community, while being truthful with the community about his offense.
The Meeting found it deeply challenging to welcome Bert, recognizing that his presence was intensely triggering to some, especially survivors of abuse. For several months he was not allowed on campus, while members worshiped with him in their homes. In cooperation with his treatment program, the Meeting developed strict behavior guidelines, including a requirement that Bert always be accompanied by a chaperone. As he proved himself trustworthy, restrictions were gradually reduced until, after many years, he was allowed unrestricted access to campus. On completing the requirements of his sentence, he wrote a Lifetime Plan ensuring he would never offend again.
In response to Bert’s presence, the Meeting became more knowledgeable about sexual abuse. At Bert’s insistence, two adults were required to be present for all children’s activities. Educational sessions on recognizing and preventing abuse were held. The needs of abuse survivors were recognized, although not always met. Some Friends chose to worship elsewhere.
From the time Bert disclosed his offense, a Care and Accountability Committee was formed to make sure Bert followed behavior guidelines, and to offer personal and spiritual support. As Bert’s health declined, the Committee’s role evolved to helping Bert deal with complicated medical issues and find necessary care.
Outside of Meeting Bert struggled to find jobs and housing given the restrictions imposed because of his conviction. He was a hard worker and a journeyman machinist and still it was difficult. He finally found a work community at Gary’s Westside Towing, where he helped and was helped until he became unable to volunteer his time there.
He was accepted as a Member of University Friends Meeting in December, 2013.
Bert expressed his devotion to University Meeting in a variety of ways. He served for many years on Building and Grounds Committee (now Facilities Committee), performing repairs and maintenance. He visited an elderly woman who couldn’t leave home, gave rides to a man who couldn’t drive anymore to Adult Education and Worship. He made coffee for Social Hour, and towards the end of his life he acted as the kitchen manager, making sure the kitchen was well-stocked and well-organized.
As his health declined, Bert often told his Care Committee that attending Meeting was the most important thing in his life. Even when he struggled to breathe, he appeared faithfully for worship. When worship moved to zoom during the pandemic, Bert learned how to zoom, but he deeply longed to return to the worship room. Not long before he entered hospice care, he asked his Care Committee to take him to the Meeting House. The group sat with him in Worship for an hour and then took him home. He died at Bailey-Boushay House on December 22, 2022.
Approved by University Meeting
May, 2023