October 29-31st

Twin Rocks Friends Camp
Rockaway Beach, Oregon

Cost: $125/person
full registration information coming soon!

From hardships with fundraising for building upkeep to simply having a loving, open conversation about how finances can better express Quaker values, it seems we are all struggling to find better ways of working together. Western Friend is delighted to be partnering with Friends Fiduciary Corporation and Northwest Yearly Meeting to once again bring Friends this practical and Spirit-centered exploration on financial issues facing Friends’ meetings, churches, and organizations.

The workshop will feature sections led by Betsy Muench, co-editor of The Treasurer’s Guide for Religious Organizations, Connie Brookes and Melissa Stoner, experienced staff of Friends Fiduciary Corporation, and Jill Hoyenga, clerk of Eugene Friends Meeting’s dynamic Finance Committee. Friends will also have ample time to talk with others from meetings, churches, and Quaker organizations over meals and during facilitated peer group discussions, as well as opportunities to wander the woods and beaches of Twin Rocks.

Sessions will cover a number of topics, including:

Fostering open conversations about money in your Meeting
Budgeting as a reflection of our Friendly priorities and values
Nuts and bolts: reading and crafting financial reports
Socially responsible investing for Meetings and organizations

Who should attend this workshop? If you have an interest in money matters in your Meeting, this workshop is for you! Treasurers and finance clerks will find it especially helpful, but the sessions are designed to interesting and accessible to anyone who wants to learn more about Spirit-led financial decision-making.

To reserve space and for more information please email editor (at) westernfriend (dot) org. We will
contact you with registration information, including cost and times, as soon as those details are available.

Want to advertise this event at your Meeting? Download the flyer here:

Finance_flyer

Chloe Schwenke is a many-faceted person: she is a transsexual woman, parent, and spouse, as well as a longtime Quaker, an ethicist, and an expert in international development in the fields of gender, governance, peace-building, and human rights. She lived and worked in Africa for 14 years, and has carried out project assignments in 34 developing and transitional countries worldwide. Chloe has published extensively on topics of transgender people and international development, on moral values in international development, and on leadership and integrity. In addition to her work as a development practitioner, she has served for ten years as an adjunct professor at Johns Hopkins University, Georgetown University, and the University of Maryland. She was also a Fulbright professor at Makerere University in Kampala, Uganda from 2005-6.

Jacob Stone, co-director of Ben Lomond Quaker Center, conducted this interview with Chloe via email on behalf of WF. She will be visiting Quaker Center in September to lead a program on gender.

Q. How long have you been a Friend? Which meeting do you attend? What brought you to Friends?

My first exposure to the Religious Society of Friends was during the Vietnam War era, when I was constantly under threat of being drafted. I was very moved by the witness of Quakers against that war and for peace, and their rich way of presenting peace as so much more than the absence of war. Many years later I met a Quaker woman who actually invited me to Friends Meeting of Washington, where I was immediately in my element. I first became a member in 1989 when I was living in London and worshipping with Westminster Friends; I’ve since been a member at Langley Hill Friends Meeting in Virginia (BYM), Durban Friends Meeting in South Africa (CSAYM), and now at Adelphi Meeting in Maryland (BYM).

Q. What does gender mean to you? How do you understand the difference between gender and sexual orientation?

My favorite “gender question” response was by the Welsh historian and writer, Jan Morris; I won’t even attempt to do better. Jan was a transsexual in the early days of that term; she transitioned from male to female and had sexual reassignment surgery in 1972:

“To me gender is not physical at all, but is altogether insubstantial. It is soul, perhaps, it is talent, it is taste, it is environment, it is how one feels, it is light and shade, it is inner music, it is a spring in one’s step or an exchange of glances, it is more truly life and love than any combination of genitals, ovaries, and hormones. It is the essentialness of oneself, the psyche, the fragment of unity. Male and female are sex, masculine and feminine are gender, and though the conceptions overlap, they are far from synonymous.”

As for sexual orientation, this is quite different in sense and in feel – not so much about who you are, but about who you are attracted to. Many transsexuals do not change their sexual orientation when they transition from one gender to another; I went from being a “heterosexual male” to a “lesbian female” in the eyes of the world, even if my mind and spirit have remain unchanged since birth.

Q. How did you experience your gender as a child?

My early awareness of gender was one of confusion, as I tried to express myself in ways that seemed authentic, only to be strictly channeled into all things “boy”. I grew up in a traditional military family, and there was little room for reinterpreting what masculine might mean.

At the age of 7 I asked for a toy ironing board and kitchen set, which my parents agreed to. I still have the 8mm film of a very happy me, ironing away. The next year I told my dad (a colonel in the Marines) that I wanted a ballerina costume, and tolerance gave way to a firmly “directed” socialization which later included two years at a military boarding school. I experienced my authentic gender only in glimpses, and in labels such as “the sensitive boy” and the “introspective boy”. I had mostly girls as friends, and could hold my end of a teenage girl chat over the phone with the best of them, but this did not go without critical notice. Again and again, I ran into unrelenting pressure to “be a man”, and barriers that would not yield.

Q. How did you first realize that something didn’t fit?

There was no early moment of clarity that could be described as transgender enlightenment. Instead, it might be described as a pattern of coming into an awareness of more and more uncomfortable edges in my male existence, and progressively fewer experiences of wholeness. I knew quite clearly from the age of seven that I was “different”, and from that age my awareness of that uncomfortable (and ultimately unbearable) sensation that I now know as “gender dissonance” gradually grew and grew over decades. In time, I felt quite hollowed out by this, living a less and less authentic life, until that life was no longer sustainable.

Q. How does it feel now that you are done with sexual reassignment surgery?

Being “done” is a funny way to think of a gender transition! After all, many transgender people never elect (or can never afford) to have sexual reassignment surgery, and others feel quite comfortable in that androgynous space between gender polarities. For me, the path was unambiguous – I knew myself to be firmly at the female end of the gender spectrum, and bringing my body into alignment with that awareness has been close to a feeling of reincarnation.

Since my surgery last year, each day is indescribably more centered and spiritually grounded, now that I am wholly free from the constant hurt and deep discomfort that comes with bearing that artificial male persona. Still, I will never be able to reclaim a lost girlhood, never experience teenage female angst, and never feel wildly pretty in a young woman’s skimpy dress. In that sense, gender transition is never “done”; I always have to live with my personal narrative of gender dissonance, of a past that in many important ways did not belong to me.

Q. What’s your experience of being transgendered among Friends? How has your meeting responded to you? How have Friends beyond your meeting supported you in this journey? How have Friends disappointed you in this journey?

Friends, once they find out that I am a transsexual (it isn’t obvious), react in a wide variety of ways. Generally, Friends have been supportive. Specifically, our meeting – Adelphi Monthly Meeting of Baltimore Yearly Meeting – went out of its way to carefully work with my wife and me to create a safe, caring, and understanding space within the meeting community to receive us once I did come out. To a very large extent, that was successful. There were a few Friends who questioned why I could not express my femininity in some aspects of my life without having to actually become a woman, but once it was explained to them (by others, in most cases) that being a woman was not an “aspect” but was and is at the heart of who I am, they seemed to understand, or at least accept. A few men in our meeting remain uncomfortable around me, but fewer all the time. In fact, the meeting has largely just moved on with the life of the meeting, leaving me the space to be the woman I know I am, and accepting me wholly as that woman.

Among the most moving and certainly the most spiritually grounded Quaker embraces came from the 2010 midwinter gathering of the group known as Friends for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer Concerns (FLGBTQC). I felt so completely accepted, respected, and cared for by these Friends, and still do.

Q. You have been very public about your journey as a transgender woman. To what extent do you see this as a ministry among Friends? Among others?

In addition to working in international development, I am an ethicist by profession. At the center of my teaching and work is the testimony of integrity. For years that testimony rang false, as I exhorted my students to a respect for integrity while personally living a fundamentally false existence. Finally being whole in my body, mind, and spirit feels like a rebirth, as a heavy and ultimately crushing burden has now forever gone.

The joy that comes with that rebirth leads me to share my own strange and difficult journey across the gender barrier as a personal, spiritual narrative of joy and opportunity. It has led me – through careful testing by a Quaker clearness committee – to a new life of service, working with transgender people in the poorest countries in the world. These transgender people are among the most beleaguered, neglected, and misunderstood people on earth, and the new non-profit organization – Trans~Dignity – that I am now setting up will bring much-needed services and opportunities to them, as way opens and funding is found.

Q. You are married and have two teenage children. To the extent that you want to share this personal information, how has your family responded to your transgender status?

My gender transition is also my family’s separate but equally challenging transition, although I get nearly all the attention. If Adelphi Meeting had not exercised such care, it’s likely even Quakers would have neglected to reach out to my wife and two children. Their stories are important, and the constancy of their love for me is a light that shines very brightly indeed, but it is not for me to describe their stories. I will say that we remain a committed, loving family, and the initial awkwardness of our family’s change to two moms has given way to a normal routine, differentiated mostly – and importantly – by no longer having a deeply depressed, inwardly imploding parent. My joy in life is uplifting, and while it doesn’t negate their continuing grief in losing a husband and a father, it does offer them some new and special spiritual gifts, which they are lovingly open to receiving.

Chloe will be leading a workshop titled, “Gender, the Search for Self, and the Search for Acceptance” at Ben Lomond Quaker Center September 10-12. Call (831) 336-8333 or mail@quakercenter.org for more information or to register.

After Thursday’s usual early morning activities- including a “Transformative Quakers” session on Thomas Kelly- Friends gathered for open worship, then worship sharing groups. Friends considered queries such as “To what extent am I truly “engaged” with others in the Spirit? Can I discern the difference between engagement and obligation (or tolerance)?”

In the afternoon plenary, Friends heard the first reading of the epistle, followed by a longer discussion of the proposal from the Futures subcommittee. Friends expressed concerns about several aspects of the proposal, most notably shifting decision-making about the annual budget to the Representative Committee.

Friends closed the afternoon with Meeting for Memorials. The sound of bagpipes called Friends to the plenary hall from afar, and the children’s program laid down blankets and toys in a half-circle at the front of the hall, so the children of Pacific Yearly Meeting were present and encircled by those present. Friends were particularly moved to see beloved Friend Ellie Huffman join them for the memorial. The names of those who passed away during the past year were placed on the wall, and read aloud in turn.

Dinner brought some unanticipated excitement in the form of a fire alarm in the dining hall. After dinner, Friends joined in all sorts of celebrations: Friends in Unity with Nature celebrated the 25^th anniversary of the committee’s formation with vegan chocolate cakes, fresh strawberries, and plenty of good conversation and laughter. Across the way, the all-ages dance engaged Friends—many of them in togas and animal costumes- in several hours of dancing and a very competitive (in a Quakerly fashion, of course) limbo contest. A few others made a point of visiting landscape artist and birthright Quaker James Turrell’s Skyspace installation on neighboring Pomona College’s campus at sunset.

Friday

The morning’s schedule was much the same as previous days, with today’s Transformative Quakers session featuring Anna and Howard Brinton. The final day of worship sharing featured queries relating to spiritual engagement and engaging constructively as Friends with the rest of the world.

The afternoon plenary session brought a report from Unity with Nature on their 25^th anniversary. Originating in response to an inspiring address at PYM’s 1985 Annual Sessions, given by Friend Marshall Massey, PYM’s Unity with Nature Committee was part of the roots for the wider Quaker environmental movement and the organization known today as Quaker Earthcare Witness. Clerk Joe Morris also shared a forward-looking “report” from the Unity with Nature committee of 2035. (A fuller version of Unity with Nature’s history and future will appear in a future issue of WF.)

This plenary also offered a round two of consideration on several items of business. Friends heard again from Naming and Nominating Committees (there’s still an opening on Children’s Program!) Nominating asked for approval of a minute assigning PYM’s Ministry & Oversight with the task of considering the appropriate number of representatives to Quaker Organizations currently receiving more than one rep. This minute was approved; M&O is to report back next year.

Friends revisited next year’s annual budget, courtesy of the Finance Committee and Treasurer Ed Flowers. They presented a slightly revised budget, based on recommendations arising from the open committee meeting conversation the previous night. After some deliberation, Friends approved a budget of roughly $140,000 for the entire year, and an increase in the assessment to $90 for CA and NV Meetings, $40 for HI and Guatemala meetings, and $10 for Mexico City Meeting. These differences in assessment are largely related to which Meetings benefit from the hiring of the youth program coordinator.

Friends heard from the Peace and Social Order Committee, which has sponsored numerous interest groups at Annual Sessions. Friends approved several minutes relating to Anthony Manousos’ traveling ministry on interfaith work.

Afternoon interest groups ranged from “Quakers and Charitable Contributions” to “Unarmed Civilian Peacekeeping: Building a Nonviolent Peaceforce.” Dinner, then the lively entertainment of many many skits and songs at Community Night.

Again the larks of PYM rose early to join in outdoor worship, Bible study, or the “Transformative Quakers” series- Wednesday’s notable Quaker being Anthony Benezet, advocate of public education and ending slavery. After breakfast and open worship, worship groups considered queries such as “Do I accept and provide eldering in a humble and loving spirit?” and “Do I look for ways to build bridges and nurture trust within my Meeting and beyond?”

The Junior Yearly Meeting of PYM (ages 13-18) spent a portion of their morning engaging in intensive coversation groups called “chat boxes” considering topics such as “Quakers and the Future”, Quakers and God”, and “Quakers and Christianity.” They found the exercise so fruitful they decided to post the notes from each chat box in the plenary hall, and then invited adults to join them in similar discussions over dinner that evening.

After interest groups on topics ranging from “Virtual Discernment: Electronic Communications and Friends’ Processes” to the single-payer approach to health care reform, Plenary II began with a lively report from Statistician Lee Sisson. In all, there are currently37 Monthly Meeting in PYM, and 13 Worship Groups. Three Meetings have over 100 members; six have ten or fewer. Three Meetings- Chico, Visalia, and San Diego- reported growth rates of 10% or more this year. Overall membership in PYM is down by 13, to 1,449.

Friends then heard a report from the Treasurer. Noteworthy items included:

-       PYM has taken in roughly $64, 000 in registration fees for this years gathering, and has paid out roughly $99,000 to Claremont McKenna College. Some refund may be coming back to PYM once the final bills are settled. (PYM does have $113,000 in reserves.)

-       Last year, PYM recognized the need to increase its income in order to fund the new Youth Program Coordinator position. Rather than raising assessments, Meetings and individuals were asked to make contributions. PYM received $45,000 in Youth Program Coordinator funds from Meetings, and an additional $2,700 from individuals.

-       Friends approved augmentations to the budgets for several PYM Committees which went over budget this past year.

Finance Committee followed with a proposal for next year’s budget. In order to create a balanced budget that does not dip into reserves, they are proposing raising the assessment (amount paid per member of a Meeting to the Yearly Meeting) from $38 to $96. This increase reflects the inclusion of full funding for the Youth Program Coordinator position. Friends were invited to attend an open committee meeting that evening to further discuss the proposal.

Vanessa Julye, a Friends from Friends General Conference who has been laboring for the past five years with PYM Friends on issues of racial equality in the Society of Friends, shared some reflections on her time with PYM. She thanked Friends for welcoming her into their family, and read aloud an open letter to PYM from Friends of Color, which was written and shared in the Daily Miracle at last year’s PYM Annual Sessions. She then outlined a handful of steps PYM could easily take in order to continue the work of racial healing among Friends, and invited everyone to continue to consider her a resource, though her time with PYM has come to a close. (More of Vanessa’s talk will be in the October issue of WF.)

Friends also heard a brief report from the Futures subcommittee of PYM’s Ministry & Oversight. This subcommittee has been working for several years to determine how the structure of the Yearly Meeting might better support the spiritual growth of its Meetings, and brought forward a proposal for a number of changes. (Available online here- title begins “PYM Ministry and Oversight…”.) Friends were invited to attend an open committee meeting that evening for further discussion.

After dinner, Friends attended open committee meetings (including one for PYM’s new Latin American Concerns Committee), participated in affinity groups, checked out the lovely AFSC-sponsored bookstore, and sang well into the night.

Friends gathered on Monday for the opening plenary of Annual Session. After brief opening remarks from clerk Marilee Eusebio, the roll call of Meetings was read. A few more introductory remarks and some wrangling with the noisy air conditioning system, and the plenary closed. Friends were free to spend the remainder of the evening settling into their dorm rooms, walking Claremont McKenna’s lovely eucalyptus-lined campus pathways, or sitting at picnic tables, deep in conversation.

Tuesday began early for many, with some Friends joining in early morning outdoor worship, a free-form Bible study group, or the ever-popular “Transforming Quakers’ series. (Tuesday’s notable historic Friend was Mary Dyer.)

After breakfast, Friends joined in open worship as a whole gathering, which was followed by worship sharing groups. The groups considered queries relating to this year’s theme, “Engaging One Another in the Spirit”. Lunch was followed by Plenary II, where Naming and Nominating Committees gave their initial reports. Nominating Committee appealed to Friends to help them help themselves! They also expressed appreciation for having had a full complement of committee members for most of the year, which made their job easier. Friends new to PYM committees, either as clerks or as members, were invited to attend a workshop for committee clerks on Friday.

George Lakey, a guest speaker from the “other” PYM (Philadelphia), then spoke to the gathering’s theme. He pointed out that the process of engagement with the Spirit is greater than the sum of the parts, and asked, “What sets people free to experience the Spirit?” George then spoke to four points or practices which can support the development of this freedom: recognition that Friends as a community are tasked with building a container for the Spirit; that we are called to be present in the moment; creating the container for the Spirit around and through individual and community accountability strengthens the container itself; and that we must have the trust and willingness to struggle together. (A transcription of George’s talk will appear in the the October issue of WF.)

Friends of all ages then joined each other outdoors for a lovely couple of hours spent playing intergenerational games, drawing on the sidewalk with chalk, and laughing and talking in the sunshine. After dinner, interest groups met on topics ranging from Indonesia after the Civil War to finding that of God in other species. George Lakey led many Friends in lively group renditions of popular Broadway songs, while Young Adult Friends held Meeting for Worship for Business and still others gathered round with guitars and “Rise Up Singing” for more song. Junior Yearly Meeting played a couple of hours of Capture the Flag in the dark, and it is rumored they also played “Wink” until 2am. Just another typical day/night at PYM…

Friends heard brief reports from the many active committees in NPYM; highlights included an update from the Youth Committee, which has worked hard this year to locate and reach out to families with children and youth throughout the yearly meeting. They will continue this work in the coming year,  and are planning a youth summit, t-shirts and more. Coordinating Committee reported on its first full year of service (CC replaced Steering Committee as the body which gathers between Annual Sessions), and shared that they are looking forward to strengthening the connections between meetings and worships groups in NPYM in this upcoming year.

Friends were reminded that NPYM will send three delegates to the Friends World Committee on Consultation’s 6^th World Conference, to be held in Africa in 2012. You must apply to be a delegate, and applications are now available from NPYM.

Though it was not noted with particular celebration at the time, your editor did celebrate that a well-seasoned and clearly-explained budget, which has seasoned since a Thursday morning plenary, was approved in less than five minutes, with no further discussion. Friends also approved the slate of names brought forward during an earlier plenary.

Registrar Margaret Coahran made use of Powerpoint slides to share the attendance demographics with Friends. 236 Friends were in attendance; 27 were first-timers. NPYM’s first year of offering online registration was remarkably popular: there were only 22 paper registrations! Also notable was an increase in Junior Friends in attendance,  with a significant jump from last year bringing them to 24 participants.

Friends also heard from Quaker Earthcare Witness—NPYM is currently considering formally affiliating with QEW—and American Friends Service Committee.

The afternoon brought time for worship groups, time for rich reflection on the lives of those who passed away this year during the Meeting for Memorials, and then free time. Junior Friends went on a float trip down the river, inciting envy in the hearts of many overheated adults.

In the evening,  Friends gathered for the ever-popular Community Night. This years’ skits featured a number of wonderfully clever rewrites of well-known songs and hymns; look for lyrics in upcoming issues of the magazine! Community Night was followed by the Junior Friends/Young Friends dance; many brave adults and the Central Friends joined in the first hour of fun, and several Central Friends showed off their break dancing prowess. My midnight, the Junior and Young Friends were engaged in a Feast of Love, wherein participants were only allowed to feed each other. As the photos show, cans of whipped cream were especially popular this year.

Thursday morning’s plenary session brought the roll call of meetings; over 200 Friends are in attendance this year. Friends also heard the first reading of the budget, and the first reading of the nominations slate. Nominations Committee has worked hard all year to fill many positions on the slate, but there are still plenty of opportunities to serve- particularly on next year’s Annual Session arrangements committee. (Next year’s Annual Sessions will be at Pacific Lutheran University in Tacoma, Washington.)

NPYM is trying out a new schedule this year, and so interest groups met in the morning on Thursday. Friends considered topics ranging from energy work to our country’s addiction to war. (A full list of topics is available at npym.org.) Montana Friends organized and hosted a simple lunch of rice and beans, which raised money for Right Sharing of World Resources. Worship groups met for the first time in the afternoon, considering queries relating to this year’s theme: “Practicing Hope: Living and Witnessing Our Testimonies.” Worship groups met in a wide array of formats: worship discussion, worship walking, worship singing, and more.

Friends then heard from Quaker organizations which have formal relationships with NPYM. It was FCNL’s turn to deliver a lengthier report this year; they shared a humorous skit to encourage Friends to become more effective lobbyists, and an FCNL choir rounded out the plenary session with a song.

The evening plenary brought an uplifting address from Bridget Moix, FCNL staff. She began with a story about how Friends are much like “un barquito grande- a little big boat. We are a small people with a great work, and that work is a ministry of hope to the world. Bridget stressed the importance of understanding the depth of the ocean of darkness we face today in order to face them head on, as Fox did in his day. And without the ocean of darkness, we would not be able to see the Light. Bridget reminded Friends that we are “a powerhouse”, and that practicing hope is a simple thing, one that breeds positive action. She ended by reminding us that “we are practicioners of ordinary miracles- practicing hope is just what we do as Friends.”

Friday morning, Friends young and old spread out across Missoula to participate in service projects in the community. They pulled weeds, organized donated materials, cooked meals for the homeless, reassembled donated bikes, and much more, delighting in the shared work and sense of purpose.

Afternoon worship groups again considered their responses to queries related to the ocean of darkness and light, and the afternoon plenary gave Friends the opportunity to hear from the many committees active at the Yearly Meeting level.

In the evening, Friends gathered to hear many talented musicians and singers share their gifts during the Open Mic Night, which was followed by lively contra dancing.

June 2010 Issue

by Robert Griswold

There is a candle in your heart ready to be kindled.
There is a void in your soul ready to be filled.
You feel it, don’t you?   -Jelaluddin Rumi

No words of mine or any other person can fully convey the experience of the Inward Light to another. Each person must find this experience by themselves. Nevertheless, we all may profit from what the experience of others has taught, if we put it up against our own. These experiences reveal to us valuable insights into our own natures and to the complexity of the Inward Light.

Experience of the Inward Light teaches us that we are not stuck solely in a relationship with self. There is that to be found within which is awesomely real and commanding. And this is not a fabrication of our minds. It is experienced personally but it is not subjective or shaped by the ego. This experience gives us the certain understanding and courage to act lovingly and become tender toward all creation. This does not mean that we will never have another weak moment. It means we will know our weak moments to be weak moments.

We can stand on solid ground because we are connected to what is real. The Light is a relationship with Divine Reality. We are not smug because the self is humbled, and we are confident that we can act with justice, mercy and humility. This sense of being grounded or centered is what Friends mean when they use the word Truth. And a life lived in relationship with the Eternal is better than living forever as a being grounded only in self. If we are present now to the Divine, we are already resurrected and have no need of a heaven by and by in the sky—that desire is just another ego projection.

We need the support of others, the love of others, the loving correction of others that we obtain by living in community with others and worshiping with others. Spiritual growth requires the discipline of spiritual practice. If love isn’t coming out, being expressed in our daily lives, then the Seed will not fulfill its purpose of nourishing the world. It will wilt and die.

Lessons From The Inward Light

Experiencing the Light is not a nice thing.

At least it has never started by being nice to me. Nearly every experience of the Light in my life has broken open the comfortable place where I was resting; smug in my own wisdom. These experiences have shown me to be shallow, vain, arrogant, presumptuous and blind to the suffering around me. And blind to my own suffering as well. This is not nice! The work of the Inward Light or the Light of Christ is to break us out of the illusions that keep us in bondage to fear, addicted to distractions, busy with building our pride, and that allow us to avoid the covenants we might have with others that could make us their neighbor. In doing its work the Inward Light requires us to stop telling ourselves those little lies that let us off the hook of responsibility. It causes us to doubt that our business (or busyness) is the best use of our time on earth. It brushes aside all those habitual notions that lets us believe that we are different, separated from and superior or inferior to those people who…(you fill in the blank).

The Inward Light is not our conscience.

Our conscience is a “should” voice in our heads that we have incorporated along the way. Conscience is often stuffed with moral maxims and frequently these are contradictory, allowing us to choose the ones most convenient to our purpose. The Inward Light straightens out this mess. The Inward Light lets us know who we really are and our relationship to Divine Reality, and thus integrity lets us jettison conventional notions and act with clarity and responsiveness to a new awareness. Sometimes we have to be very patient to get to what the Light would have us know, but Friends’ faith requires us to prefer integrity to what may seem to be expedient action.

The Inward Light speaks to our condition.

Without the Inward Light we are in a condition of trying to guide our life following an inadequate authority– the inadequate authority of self. Self is the aggregation of notions, excuses, reasoning  that we have acquired in the process of growing up.  Instruction and misinstruction by parents, teachers  and peers; ideas we have come across or have been  dumped on us by TV, newspapers, books; experiences  of hurt, disappointment, and loss; habits of worry,  self-defense and meaningless self indulgence – these  are some of the things we pack in the bag of self. The  Inward Light weighs these things showing us what  they are and what we must surrender so that they no  longer subject us to their deception.

The Inward Light requires from us a discipline.

This is not about sitting quietly once in a while until we  get a new idea. The Inward Light can transform us— but only if we have disciplined ourselves to truly be submissive to the leadings we are given. The Inward Light isn’t our local grocery store of the intellect where we can shop for good ideas of things we might do. The discipline of silence and openness must be practiced over and over, day after day, week after week, alone and with others. The Light nurtures a Seed in us but to grow, that Seed must be repeatedly exposed to the Light. This exposure is not over until our life is over. If you are a Christian this is called “taking up your cross.”

The Inward Light comforts us and gives us courage.

As we follow the discipline of the Light and the Seed grows in us, we gain in courage. The fears of self – you know them. “What will people think of me if I do that? “Is this going to be embarrassing?” What if people don’t like me because I’m doing this?” Wouldn’t it be safer to wait until someone else leads and then follow if things seem to be going well?” The problem is that when we follow our fears we never get clear and our fears confine us in a box made of worry and defensiveness. When we follow where the Light leads, the fears of self and for self drop away and we can act to make love manifest in the world. The Light always requires us to risk loving, and in risking love we find true peace.

The Inward Light is not a tool for us to use.

I must confess to a level of discomfort every time I hear Friends ask that someone be “held in the Light.” I appreciate our having a convention that directs us toward a care for others, but I have trouble reducing the Light to a convention. To me this approach seems to change the relationship between me and the Light. My experience is that the Light is a reality that uses me, calling me to account and making clear my path when I have been led astray by reliance on my own notions. Hence, I can understand that if I have knowledge of someone in distress the Light may point me toward an action that might relieve their distress. But I have no power to place them in the Light or hold them there. The Light for me is not something I can do and certainly there is nothing I can make the Light do. It is not something that I have in my possession and thus I cannot give it away.

There is another problem with this convention of trying to “hold ___ in the Light.” This practice sneaks back into Friends’ theology a version of Christian theology depicting the Deity as a remote and powerful being that we can and should beg for favors. In my experience of the Divine, “the Kingdom of Heaven” is no distance away from wherever I may be, unless I am standing in the way. Living in Truth brings real joy into our lives. The Light makes us whole and makes it possible to face what life has to bring – even death. This joy is what Jesus was talking about when he said, “My yoke is easy and my burden is light.” The “peace that passes understanding” comes through the Light.

Robert Griswold is a member of Mountain View Friends Meeting in Denver, Colorado.

After worship sharing in the morning, Friends approved the nomination slate, noting that a number of yearly meeting committees remain severely underpopulated due to a lack on nominations coming forward from regional (aka Quarterly) meetings. Friends then considered and adopted a Minute from Pima Friends Meeting (Tucson) regarding the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq.

Conversation then moved to the budget, which was approved with little change. Friends expressed an interest in exploring the idea of IMYM funding the travel costs of some representatives from Quaker organizations to attend IMYM. As one Friend stated, “We are struggling with the fact that how we spend our money is our witness.” This may be explored through the fall queries to the monthly meetings and/or on the new task force appointed to explore structure issues.

The IMYM registrars reported there were 325 attendees at IMYM this year, down 9% from last year. The decline was attributed to ongoing economic distress, and it was noted that requests to IMYM for scholarships were up again this year. Ghost Ranch’s campground and rooms were full to the brim, with only five rooms remaining empty in all of Ghost Ranch! Attendance was equally divided between youth (infants- Young Adult Friends), those 60 and over, and “those in-between”.

Afternoon interest groups again encompassed a wealth of topics, including a very well-attended interest group on Casa de los Amigos, another on the work of Right Sharing of World Resources, and yet another on grieving.

Meeting for Worship for all was held prior to dinner, and many Friends offered rich vocal ministry on the value of the IMYM community, the meaning of service, and other reflections from our time together. Friends also heard wonderful epistles from Childrens’ Yearly Meeting (CYM- infant to elementary), Junior Yearly Meeting (middle school), and IMYM itself.

Chased indoors by the howling winds, the entirety of IMYM crowded into the cafeteria for dinner, some gulping their food to make time for one more rehearsal of their act before Creativity Night. The work paid off- IMYM’s Creativity Night is always good, but there were some real gems this year! The Children’s Yearly Meeting wowed everyone with a musical skit about thieving pirates transformed by generosity into peace pirates, complete with eye patches. The Older Adult Friends (OAFs) of IMYM also put on a hilarious skit- but not to be outdone, the Senior Young Friends offered “The Lion Clerk” for this year’s entertainment- including a medley of Quaker songs not heard in the original “The Lion King”, including “The Circle of SYF” (pronounced ‘sife’). You had to be there, but the editor assures you that it was splendid. Many Friends also shared wonderful music, poetry, and even a joke or two. And Friends Committee on National Legislation was pleased to report a total of 108 hand-written letters from IMYM Friends on immigration policy. The letters will be hand-delivered by Rebecca Sheff, FCNL intern on immigration issues.

At the close of Creativity Night, Friends scattered to take advantage of their last chance for late-night conversations, games, and singing. The winds abated and by midnight, the skies were again full of stars, the air clean and crisp.

Sunday morning brought the melee of breakfast and sack lunch preparation, followed by one last chance for worship groups to meet. Many Friends were already on the road, as some faced drives of twelve or more hours. During the final Meeting for Worship, Friends heard the final reading of the IMYM epistle, and again shared in a wealth of vocal ministry, much of it reflecting on service. As one Friend quoted, “service is where your greatest joy meets the deepest need.”

Friends parted at noon with hugs, smiles, laughter, tears, and promises to stay in touch.

The morning plenary brought reports from the Quaker alphabet soup groups with which IMYM has ongoing relationships: Right Sharing of World Resources, Friends General Conference, Western Friend, Friends Committee on National Legislation, Friends World Committee on Consultation, American Friends Service Committee, and Dougla Prieta Works. In introducing the first report, clerk Claire Leonard invited Friends delivering the reports to be “incendiary- to ignite with light but perhaps not heat.” Friends also heard epistles and a report from IMYM’s Program Committee.

After lunch, Friends joined in Intergenerational Worship Sharing groups, took siestas or walks, or visited IMYM’s lovely bookstore full of Quaker titles and displays from Quaker organizations. During Interest Group time, Friends had the opportunity to join in the third annual Intergenerational Color Exchange, which has made the entire Yearly Meeting much more colorful (see the photos!) Friends also joined in interest groups on a wealth of topics, from “What Would John Woolman Do?” considering questions of right action on immigration and border issues, to learning more about FWCC’s worldwide consultation on global change.

Another plenary session focused on several minutes, the first being a request to IMYM from Wyoming Friends Meeting to continue their evaluation period another couple of years. Wyoming Friends expressed their warm appreciation for the numerous ways in which IMYM has welcomed them at IMYM events and through visitation to Wyoming Friends.

The bulk of the plenary was spent in consideration of a beautifully-worded minute on immigration and border issues. The minute combined and expanded on several minutes brought to IMYM from Arizona Friends regarding SB 1070. The minute was received and approved with gratitude after some discussion of how to spread the minute far and wide.

Friends also heard the IMYM census report. For the first time since 1993, IMYM membership has dropped below 1,000, to 983. It seems likely this decline is due to Meetings cleaning their rosters of long-absent Friends, along with the passing of many elderly Friends.

Dinner was followed by brief rain showers, a huge windstorm, and enthusiastic contra dancing till nearly 10 pm.