October 29-31st

Twin Rocks Friends Camp
Rockaway Beach, Oregon

Cost: $125/person
full registration information coming soon!

From hardships with fundraising for building upkeep to simply having a loving, open conversation about how finances can better express Quaker values, it seems we are all struggling to find better ways of working together. Western Friend is delighted to be partnering with Friends Fiduciary Corporation and Northwest Yearly Meeting to once again bring Friends this practical and Spirit-centered exploration on financial issues facing Friends’ meetings, churches, and organizations.

The workshop will feature sections led by Betsy Muench, co-editor of The Treasurer’s Guide for Religious Organizations, Connie Brookes and Melissa Stoner, experienced staff of Friends Fiduciary Corporation, and Jill Hoyenga, clerk of Eugene Friends Meeting’s dynamic Finance Committee. Friends will also have ample time to talk with others from meetings, churches, and Quaker organizations over meals and during facilitated peer group discussions, as well as opportunities to wander the woods and beaches of Twin Rocks.

Sessions will cover a number of topics, including:

Fostering open conversations about money in your Meeting
Budgeting as a reflection of our Friendly priorities and values
Nuts and bolts: reading and crafting financial reports
Socially responsible investing for Meetings and organizations

Who should attend this workshop? If you have an interest in money matters in your Meeting, this workshop is for you! Treasurers and finance clerks will find it especially helpful, but the sessions are designed to interesting and accessible to anyone who wants to learn more about Spirit-led financial decision-making.

To reserve space and for more information please email editor (at) westernfriend (dot) org. We will
contact you with registration information, including cost and times, as soon as those details are available.

Want to advertise this event at your Meeting? Download the flyer here:

Finance_flyer

After Thursday’s usual early morning activities- including a “Transformative Quakers” session on Thomas Kelly- Friends gathered for open worship, then worship sharing groups. Friends considered queries such as “To what extent am I truly “engaged” with others in the Spirit? Can I discern the difference between engagement and obligation (or tolerance)?”

In the afternoon plenary, Friends heard the first reading of the epistle, followed by a longer discussion of the proposal from the Futures subcommittee. Friends expressed concerns about several aspects of the proposal, most notably shifting decision-making about the annual budget to the Representative Committee.

Friends closed the afternoon with Meeting for Memorials. The sound of bagpipes called Friends to the plenary hall from afar, and the children’s program laid down blankets and toys in a half-circle at the front of the hall, so the children of Pacific Yearly Meeting were present and encircled by those present. Friends were particularly moved to see beloved Friend Ellie Huffman join them for the memorial. The names of those who passed away during the past year were placed on the wall, and read aloud in turn.

Dinner brought some unanticipated excitement in the form of a fire alarm in the dining hall. After dinner, Friends joined in all sorts of celebrations: Friends in Unity with Nature celebrated the 25^th anniversary of the committee’s formation with vegan chocolate cakes, fresh strawberries, and plenty of good conversation and laughter. Across the way, the all-ages dance engaged Friends—many of them in togas and animal costumes- in several hours of dancing and a very competitive (in a Quakerly fashion, of course) limbo contest. A few others made a point of visiting landscape artist and birthright Quaker James Turrell’s Skyspace installation on neighboring Pomona College’s campus at sunset.

Friday

The morning’s schedule was much the same as previous days, with today’s Transformative Quakers session featuring Anna and Howard Brinton. The final day of worship sharing featured queries relating to spiritual engagement and engaging constructively as Friends with the rest of the world.

The afternoon plenary session brought a report from Unity with Nature on their 25^th anniversary. Originating in response to an inspiring address at PYM’s 1985 Annual Sessions, given by Friend Marshall Massey, PYM’s Unity with Nature Committee was part of the roots for the wider Quaker environmental movement and the organization known today as Quaker Earthcare Witness. Clerk Joe Morris also shared a forward-looking “report” from the Unity with Nature committee of 2035. (A fuller version of Unity with Nature’s history and future will appear in a future issue of WF.)

This plenary also offered a round two of consideration on several items of business. Friends heard again from Naming and Nominating Committees (there’s still an opening on Children’s Program!) Nominating asked for approval of a minute assigning PYM’s Ministry & Oversight with the task of considering the appropriate number of representatives to Quaker Organizations currently receiving more than one rep. This minute was approved; M&O is to report back next year.

Friends revisited next year’s annual budget, courtesy of the Finance Committee and Treasurer Ed Flowers. They presented a slightly revised budget, based on recommendations arising from the open committee meeting conversation the previous night. After some deliberation, Friends approved a budget of roughly $140,000 for the entire year, and an increase in the assessment to $90 for CA and NV Meetings, $40 for HI and Guatemala meetings, and $10 for Mexico City Meeting. These differences in assessment are largely related to which Meetings benefit from the hiring of the youth program coordinator.

Friends heard from the Peace and Social Order Committee, which has sponsored numerous interest groups at Annual Sessions. Friends approved several minutes relating to Anthony Manousos’ traveling ministry on interfaith work.

Afternoon interest groups ranged from “Quakers and Charitable Contributions” to “Unarmed Civilian Peacekeeping: Building a Nonviolent Peaceforce.” Dinner, then the lively entertainment of many many skits and songs at Community Night.

Again the larks of PYM rose early to join in outdoor worship, Bible study, or the “Transformative Quakers” series- Wednesday’s notable Quaker being Anthony Benezet, advocate of public education and ending slavery. After breakfast and open worship, worship groups considered queries such as “Do I accept and provide eldering in a humble and loving spirit?” and “Do I look for ways to build bridges and nurture trust within my Meeting and beyond?”

The Junior Yearly Meeting of PYM (ages 13-18) spent a portion of their morning engaging in intensive coversation groups called “chat boxes” considering topics such as “Quakers and the Future”, Quakers and God”, and “Quakers and Christianity.” They found the exercise so fruitful they decided to post the notes from each chat box in the plenary hall, and then invited adults to join them in similar discussions over dinner that evening.

After interest groups on topics ranging from “Virtual Discernment: Electronic Communications and Friends’ Processes” to the single-payer approach to health care reform, Plenary II began with a lively report from Statistician Lee Sisson. In all, there are currently37 Monthly Meeting in PYM, and 13 Worship Groups. Three Meetings have over 100 members; six have ten or fewer. Three Meetings- Chico, Visalia, and San Diego- reported growth rates of 10% or more this year. Overall membership in PYM is down by 13, to 1,449.

Friends then heard a report from the Treasurer. Noteworthy items included:

-       PYM has taken in roughly $64, 000 in registration fees for this years gathering, and has paid out roughly $99,000 to Claremont McKenna College. Some refund may be coming back to PYM once the final bills are settled. (PYM does have $113,000 in reserves.)

-       Last year, PYM recognized the need to increase its income in order to fund the new Youth Program Coordinator position. Rather than raising assessments, Meetings and individuals were asked to make contributions. PYM received $45,000 in Youth Program Coordinator funds from Meetings, and an additional $2,700 from individuals.

-       Friends approved augmentations to the budgets for several PYM Committees which went over budget this past year.

Finance Committee followed with a proposal for next year’s budget. In order to create a balanced budget that does not dip into reserves, they are proposing raising the assessment (amount paid per member of a Meeting to the Yearly Meeting) from $38 to $96. This increase reflects the inclusion of full funding for the Youth Program Coordinator position. Friends were invited to attend an open committee meeting that evening to further discuss the proposal.

Vanessa Julye, a Friends from Friends General Conference who has been laboring for the past five years with PYM Friends on issues of racial equality in the Society of Friends, shared some reflections on her time with PYM. She thanked Friends for welcoming her into their family, and read aloud an open letter to PYM from Friends of Color, which was written and shared in the Daily Miracle at last year’s PYM Annual Sessions. She then outlined a handful of steps PYM could easily take in order to continue the work of racial healing among Friends, and invited everyone to continue to consider her a resource, though her time with PYM has come to a close. (More of Vanessa’s talk will be in the October issue of WF.)

Friends also heard a brief report from the Futures subcommittee of PYM’s Ministry & Oversight. This subcommittee has been working for several years to determine how the structure of the Yearly Meeting might better support the spiritual growth of its Meetings, and brought forward a proposal for a number of changes. (Available online here- title begins “PYM Ministry and Oversight…”.) Friends were invited to attend an open committee meeting that evening for further discussion.

After dinner, Friends attended open committee meetings (including one for PYM’s new Latin American Concerns Committee), participated in affinity groups, checked out the lovely AFSC-sponsored bookstore, and sang well into the night.

Friends gathered on Monday for the opening plenary of Annual Session. After brief opening remarks from clerk Marilee Eusebio, the roll call of Meetings was read. A few more introductory remarks and some wrangling with the noisy air conditioning system, and the plenary closed. Friends were free to spend the remainder of the evening settling into their dorm rooms, walking Claremont McKenna’s lovely eucalyptus-lined campus pathways, or sitting at picnic tables, deep in conversation.

Tuesday began early for many, with some Friends joining in early morning outdoor worship, a free-form Bible study group, or the ever-popular “Transforming Quakers’ series. (Tuesday’s notable historic Friend was Mary Dyer.)

After breakfast, Friends joined in open worship as a whole gathering, which was followed by worship sharing groups. The groups considered queries relating to this year’s theme, “Engaging One Another in the Spirit”. Lunch was followed by Plenary II, where Naming and Nominating Committees gave their initial reports. Nominating Committee appealed to Friends to help them help themselves! They also expressed appreciation for having had a full complement of committee members for most of the year, which made their job easier. Friends new to PYM committees, either as clerks or as members, were invited to attend a workshop for committee clerks on Friday.

George Lakey, a guest speaker from the “other” PYM (Philadelphia), then spoke to the gathering’s theme. He pointed out that the process of engagement with the Spirit is greater than the sum of the parts, and asked, “What sets people free to experience the Spirit?” George then spoke to four points or practices which can support the development of this freedom: recognition that Friends as a community are tasked with building a container for the Spirit; that we are called to be present in the moment; creating the container for the Spirit around and through individual and community accountability strengthens the container itself; and that we must have the trust and willingness to struggle together. (A transcription of George’s talk will appear in the the October issue of WF.)

Friends of all ages then joined each other outdoors for a lovely couple of hours spent playing intergenerational games, drawing on the sidewalk with chalk, and laughing and talking in the sunshine. After dinner, interest groups met on topics ranging from Indonesia after the Civil War to finding that of God in other species. George Lakey led many Friends in lively group renditions of popular Broadway songs, while Young Adult Friends held Meeting for Worship for Business and still others gathered round with guitars and “Rise Up Singing” for more song. Junior Yearly Meeting played a couple of hours of Capture the Flag in the dark, and it is rumored they also played “Wink” until 2am. Just another typical day/night at PYM…

Friends heard brief reports from the many active committees in NPYM; highlights included an update from the Youth Committee, which has worked hard this year to locate and reach out to families with children and youth throughout the yearly meeting. They will continue this work in the coming year,  and are planning a youth summit, t-shirts and more. Coordinating Committee reported on its first full year of service (CC replaced Steering Committee as the body which gathers between Annual Sessions), and shared that they are looking forward to strengthening the connections between meetings and worships groups in NPYM in this upcoming year.

Friends were reminded that NPYM will send three delegates to the Friends World Committee on Consultation’s 6^th World Conference, to be held in Africa in 2012. You must apply to be a delegate, and applications are now available from NPYM.

Though it was not noted with particular celebration at the time, your editor did celebrate that a well-seasoned and clearly-explained budget, which has seasoned since a Thursday morning plenary, was approved in less than five minutes, with no further discussion. Friends also approved the slate of names brought forward during an earlier plenary.

Registrar Margaret Coahran made use of Powerpoint slides to share the attendance demographics with Friends. 236 Friends were in attendance; 27 were first-timers. NPYM’s first year of offering online registration was remarkably popular: there were only 22 paper registrations! Also notable was an increase in Junior Friends in attendance,  with a significant jump from last year bringing them to 24 participants.

Friends also heard from Quaker Earthcare Witness—NPYM is currently considering formally affiliating with QEW—and American Friends Service Committee.

The afternoon brought time for worship groups, time for rich reflection on the lives of those who passed away this year during the Meeting for Memorials, and then free time. Junior Friends went on a float trip down the river, inciting envy in the hearts of many overheated adults.

In the evening,  Friends gathered for the ever-popular Community Night. This years’ skits featured a number of wonderfully clever rewrites of well-known songs and hymns; look for lyrics in upcoming issues of the magazine! Community Night was followed by the Junior Friends/Young Friends dance; many brave adults and the Central Friends joined in the first hour of fun, and several Central Friends showed off their break dancing prowess. My midnight, the Junior and Young Friends were engaged in a Feast of Love, wherein participants were only allowed to feed each other. As the photos show, cans of whipped cream were especially popular this year.

Thursday morning’s plenary session brought the roll call of meetings; over 200 Friends are in attendance this year. Friends also heard the first reading of the budget, and the first reading of the nominations slate. Nominations Committee has worked hard all year to fill many positions on the slate, but there are still plenty of opportunities to serve- particularly on next year’s Annual Session arrangements committee. (Next year’s Annual Sessions will be at Pacific Lutheran University in Tacoma, Washington.)

NPYM is trying out a new schedule this year, and so interest groups met in the morning on Thursday. Friends considered topics ranging from energy work to our country’s addiction to war. (A full list of topics is available at npym.org.) Montana Friends organized and hosted a simple lunch of rice and beans, which raised money for Right Sharing of World Resources. Worship groups met for the first time in the afternoon, considering queries relating to this year’s theme: “Practicing Hope: Living and Witnessing Our Testimonies.” Worship groups met in a wide array of formats: worship discussion, worship walking, worship singing, and more.

Friends then heard from Quaker organizations which have formal relationships with NPYM. It was FCNL’s turn to deliver a lengthier report this year; they shared a humorous skit to encourage Friends to become more effective lobbyists, and an FCNL choir rounded out the plenary session with a song.

The evening plenary brought an uplifting address from Bridget Moix, FCNL staff. She began with a story about how Friends are much like “un barquito grande- a little big boat. We are a small people with a great work, and that work is a ministry of hope to the world. Bridget stressed the importance of understanding the depth of the ocean of darkness we face today in order to face them head on, as Fox did in his day. And without the ocean of darkness, we would not be able to see the Light. Bridget reminded Friends that we are “a powerhouse”, and that practicing hope is a simple thing, one that breeds positive action. She ended by reminding us that “we are practicioners of ordinary miracles- practicing hope is just what we do as Friends.”

Friday morning, Friends young and old spread out across Missoula to participate in service projects in the community. They pulled weeds, organized donated materials, cooked meals for the homeless, reassembled donated bikes, and much more, delighting in the shared work and sense of purpose.

Afternoon worship groups again considered their responses to queries related to the ocean of darkness and light, and the afternoon plenary gave Friends the opportunity to hear from the many committees active at the Yearly Meeting level.

In the evening, Friends gathered to hear many talented musicians and singers share their gifts during the Open Mic Night, which was followed by lively contra dancing.

The morning plenary brought reports from the Quaker alphabet soup groups with which IMYM has ongoing relationships: Right Sharing of World Resources, Friends General Conference, Western Friend, Friends Committee on National Legislation, Friends World Committee on Consultation, American Friends Service Committee, and Dougla Prieta Works. In introducing the first report, clerk Claire Leonard invited Friends delivering the reports to be “incendiary- to ignite with light but perhaps not heat.” Friends also heard epistles and a report from IMYM’s Program Committee.

After lunch, Friends joined in Intergenerational Worship Sharing groups, took siestas or walks, or visited IMYM’s lovely bookstore full of Quaker titles and displays from Quaker organizations. During Interest Group time, Friends had the opportunity to join in the third annual Intergenerational Color Exchange, which has made the entire Yearly Meeting much more colorful (see the photos!) Friends also joined in interest groups on a wealth of topics, from “What Would John Woolman Do?” considering questions of right action on immigration and border issues, to learning more about FWCC’s worldwide consultation on global change.

Another plenary session focused on several minutes, the first being a request to IMYM from Wyoming Friends Meeting to continue their evaluation period another couple of years. Wyoming Friends expressed their warm appreciation for the numerous ways in which IMYM has welcomed them at IMYM events and through visitation to Wyoming Friends.

The bulk of the plenary was spent in consideration of a beautifully-worded minute on immigration and border issues. The minute combined and expanded on several minutes brought to IMYM from Arizona Friends regarding SB 1070. The minute was received and approved with gratitude after some discussion of how to spread the minute far and wide.

Friends also heard the IMYM census report. For the first time since 1993, IMYM membership has dropped below 1,000, to 983. It seems likely this decline is due to Meetings cleaning their rosters of long-absent Friends, along with the passing of many elderly Friends.

Dinner was followed by brief rain showers, a huge windstorm, and enthusiastic contra dancing till nearly 10 pm.

Friends began the first full day of IMYM with cool breezes and blazing blue skies. A few Friends gathered for early morning worship before breakfast, while the rest of us waiting till after breakfast to join in worship sharing groups. Most groups met in circles of chairs set up outdoors in the shade. Friends were invited to consider a variety of queries related to the meaning of service in their lives.

The gentle murmur of a translator working on behalf of Friends from Mexico City provided a grounding undercurrent to the second plenary session of IMYM. Friends heard the epistle from New York Yearly Meeting, and IMYM continued its tradition, established last year, of reading memorial minutes as part of Meeting for Worship with a Concern for Business.

Friends heard a report from IMYM’s Continuing Committee, with cares for the work of the Yearly Meeting through meetings in January and during IMYM. They recommended the formation of three separate task groups to each spend the next year considering issues related to the administrative structure of IMYM, financial issues within the Yearly Meeting, and the question of offering Quaker service opportunities through IMYM. The first two were approved; the task group on Service was held over for further consideration.

Friends also heard the first reading of the nominations slate, reports from Finance and the treasurer, and a report from Mountain Friends Camp (documents related to these reports are available online at imym.org.) MFC is a pilot program, approved at IMYM last year, to begin a Quaker-led outdoor camp within IMYM. This year is the pilot year, and they have been hard at work planning the camp over the course of the year. The pilot will have at least twelve participants, including junior and senior counselors. Counselors and campers are all part of IMYM. The campers will spend the week after IMYM learning sustainable building and living in Quaker community. The planners hope to have the camp financially independent and serving 50-75 campers within five years.

After lunch, many Friends joined in the Senior Young Friends’ sponsored intergenerational worship sharing groups, or continued conversations began over a meal. The afternoon plenary session brought keynote speaker Kara Newell’s address on “Service in the 21^st Century.” Kara is a member of Reedwood Friends Church in Portland, Oregon, and served for many years as Executive Secretary of American Friends Service Committee and as General Secretary of Friends United Meeting.

Kara asked Friends to consider invitations each of us have received, and our responses to those invitations. She then shared several examples of invitations she has received over the years, including a life-changing invitation to accept Jesus into her heart when she was only five years old. Though She did not fully understand the invitation at the time, it is one she has never rescinded. She also spoke of the value of learning to discern which invitation to accept, and invited Friends to consider whether or not service in the 21^st Century is any different—or if it’s simply that we have different tools available to us. Kara also reminded Friends that service must be a calling to meet a need with all the love we can muster, and explored the idea of “neighbors”- who they are, how we can love them, and the important role prayer plays in being neighborly. She also emphasized the value of listening deeply to yourself, and to seasoning a leading with spiritual friends and your community—and then diving into the work of service.

Friends received Kara’s words with great appreciation, and joined in a thoughtful and heartfelt question and answer period following a period of worship.

At dinner, sudden showers chased many Friends inside from the picnic tables, including a group of Young Adult Friends sharing a meal with the co-directors of Casa de los Amigos in Mexico City and learning more about the exciting programs they are supporting at the Casa. Those showers returned in force during the song circle, chasing everyone into a very cozy and song-filled room till after sunset. Once the rain passed, forty or so Friends, a few guitars and a couple of violins sang in the stars with lullabies in the courtyard.

John Calvi is a Certified Massage Therapist specializing in trauma and a Quaker healer with a spiritual gift for the release of emotional and physical pain following trauma. Since 1982 he has worked with rape survivors, people with AIDS, inmates, and tortured refugees. He is also the founder and convener of The Quaker Initiative to End Torture, QUIT. John is well-known among Friends in the West, having visited Meetings in Pacific and Intermountain Yearly Meetings and offered workshops on healing at Ben Lomond Quaker Center. This is an edited version of his address to North Pacific Yearly Meeting this year.

So. Experiencing light in hard times: how do we stay faithful in times of trouble?
As someone who taught young children for ten years as a Montessori teacher, sometimes I like to take these larger questions and break them down into smaller questions to help the learning happen. And when I look at this title, which I think is very large, I break it down into two questions: how much are you freaking out? And how large is your anchor?

Times of trouble are known to all of us. There is pain for every person. There is trouble, conflict, difficulty, injustice, known to us as individuals and as groups, and certainly in our witness throughout the world. And so maybe what we’re talking about this morning is that our faith is going to be an aspect of our response to trouble. And when trouble comes, when we experience pain, are we able to keep that connection to the Divine? Are we able to remember our testimonies and our principles as we witness injustice, or maybe as we ourselves are personally offended, or personally endangered?

In some ways this is a very large question, and in other ways it is actually a fairly simple concept. There is a wonderful old Arabic saying, which is, “Pray to God, but tie your camel.” Yes, devotion, but have you done the practical things which are necessary to be in the world? The ways we respond to trouble are as important as the trouble itself. And is there a way that we can be responding to trouble which will maintain our connection to the Divine? Can we do as early Friends suggested, and leave the meetinghouse on first day, but not to leave Meeting for Worship? When trouble comes, can we still be working in the Light?

Creativity in Crisis
How creative can we be, and how much can we work without fear as we enter into crisis, as pain comes into our lives? This becomes a very important question. Can we be creative when trouble comes?

My Great-Aunt Lucy and her friend Ruby came over from Italy. They had some trouble when they came, because in Italy they were farmers, and they had land, and they grew their own food. But when they came to America, they had to live with relatives in the city, where it was crowded and there wasn’t land. But they got some flowerpots, and they planted eggplant, they planted tomatoes, they planted what they could. And at the end of the summer they had three bushels of eggplant. But they didn’t have the heavy crockery they needed to salt and sweat and drain the eggplant. So they took the three bushels to the laundromat, and they put it on a spin/rinse cycle.

When you find yourself in a circumstance where it is not as you hoped and not as you planned, and you still want to go ahead and carry on with your work, your response to the crisis—and your ability to bring Light into it—is going to be very important.

Responding to Pain
When trouble comes into our lives, one of the ways we can understand our response to that trouble is to take a look at our response to pain itself. What is your understanding of pain in your own life, and how have you responded to it at first? Over time, how have you learned to respond to it in ways more helpful to you?

As I have traveled around for the last quarter-century, working with people in trouble, crisis and pain—refugees who have been tortured, the AIDS epidemic, the crisis of rape—I have seen something very clearly. It’s that when we are in trouble and in pain, we have this image of God that’s very much like the one Michelangelo put on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. He’s a big white guy in a cloud with a beard, strong—a landlord. But he owns everything. He is very strong and very powerful, and a bit of a grouch. You should not get on his bad side, because he will fry your butt. We beseech this idea of God. “You’re the one who is in charge. I need your help now. Things have gotten really bad down here.”

There is also a very different experience. When we are in a gathered and covered Meeting, it is extremely common that we come to an understanding that the Divine is beyond words. Language is insufficient, and the spiritual experience is so large and so intimate and so intrusive to our lives that it permeates every atom and every molecule—it totally surrounds. The idea of putting the Divine in a human form of one person is really not what we are experiencing. We are experiencing something much larger and grander than that.

It’s common among Friends to have spiritual experiences which teach us the Divine is beyond language and beyond any simple description, and beyond using any simple idea or picture to witness that experience. Now here’s a problem: we have this experience of the Divine over here, and we have this beseeching of the picture over here. These two things don’t match up very well. And they especially don’t match up well when there is a group of people having this spiritual experience over here which is very deep, and the people over here who are in pain and trouble, holding to a picture of what the Divine is.

These two groups have to communicate and work together. This becomes a difficulty. Sometimes it actually becomes a difficulty within the individual. How do I understand the Divine? Is it this as experience over here, where I don’t actually have language, or is it as this experience over here, which is so familiar? This can also set up conflict within and between different groups.
One of the important things for us to remember is that it is a burden to dislike someone. And not only is it a burden, but on those occasions when we enjoy disliking someone, that’s actually pathology. Now, I say this coming from an Italian family, where the tradition of disliking people is very strong. But it is something within all of us. All Quakers recognize this situation: you walk into business meeting, and you see so and so. Your first thought is, “Oh God, they’re still alive. Just goes to show you the limit of prayer.”

There is authority on this idea that it is a burden to dislike someone—Jesus. Speaking in the Sermon on the Mount, towards the end of that beautiful speech, he says, “You’ve been told that if you kill someone, you’re going to Hell. But I’m telling you if you yell at someone, ‘you fool!’ You will go to Hell.”

As an Italian, my first thought is, he’s saying we can’t even get angry at someone. Oh, my God! We’ll have nothing to talk about! We can’t yell? But I think essentially Jesus once again is right. To yell, ‘thou fool!’ at someone, to disrespect someone—it does separate us from the Divine. Even though we know there are people who are worthy of our disrespect and have earned our anger with everything they have done, that act separates us from the Divine.

And sometimes, we can hug someone and say, “When I get angry with you, I miss you.”

So can it be that in all conflict of all sizes, interior to the individual and among nations, that we have to answer the question, “do I still understand that to dislike anyone is a burden?” We need to ask ourselves if this is a burden we need to continue to carry, and if there is a way to lay the burden down.
Sometimes we are truly insulted by someone. I remember my grandmother working their farm with eleven children. A neighbor down the road came by and said, “You know, those Italians, they smell funny because they’re dirty, and they steal things, and they are lazy.” My grandmother picked up the axe and went next door to change his mind. She had to be restrained by my grandfather.

Sometimes the insult is so large that the anger feels absolutely justified and natural, and has to be held and kept. And holding a grudge seems like a good, solid, honest tradition. You’ve heard of Italian dementia, where you forget everything but the grudges?

Sometimes there hasn’t even been a direct insult, but there are qualities about an individual which make it easy to dislike them. We had a person in our meeting who kind of degenerated. She was a social worker, and she had spiritual gifts—she could see the colors around people. She could read those colors and tell you whether or not the trouble you were having was your thinking, or illness in your body. She was also physically and emotionally unwell. When she got off her medication, she would upset people, and as she deteriorated, she became increasingly eccentric. When she needed a ride into town, she’d hang around the ATM, and when you drove up in your car, she’d get in the other door. She’d tell you she didn’t need to go far, and was very friendly, but it scared a lot of folks. For many, she was easy to dislike or disrespect.

The Spiritual Life
There are folks who have been very wounded by Christianity and by churches. I would just remind us that we cannot blame Christianity on Jesus. It was never his intention that there would be millionaire preachers on television saying that God would save them is you sent $700 this year. This is really very separate from the message of Jesus. I would encourage anyone who has been wounded by Christianity to make friends with the teachings of Jesus, because there is useful wisdom there. And for those of who have had a visitation of Jesus, I would ask that you share this passion in a way that other people can understand, because it is a precious experience.

Having a visitation was not something I asked for. But one morning I was in a church basement, working with a woman from El Salvador who had been severely tortured. As she went into prayer and I began my work, Jesus came into the room, and there was no doubt about who is was, how it felt, what it meant, and how beautiful the love. It’s very important for those of us who have that kind of experience to be able to share that in ways which do not bump into the wounds caused by Christianity.

I did have a little bit of fun with this once. My Aunt Rose was a born-again Billy Graham Reagan Republican. And one day when I was visiting with her, her knees were hurting very badly from her arthritis. And I said, “Aunt Rose, if you say your favorite prayer, I’m gonna do a little bit of energy work. Let’s see if we can make this pain less.” Now, Rose was a severe conservative. She thought that the American war in Vietnam was a good idea. But she also had a strong spiritual life. And she had clear direct lines to Headquarters. When she went into prayer, you could feel it. And when she went into prayer, I began to do my energy work, and towards the end her eyes popped open.

There was a little bit of a thing going on between me and Aunt Rose because I was her favorite nephew, but she did not like the idea that her favorite nephew was a homosexual who went and married another man. For God’s sakes! And when her eyes opened up and she said, “My knees don’t hurt anymore. How did you do that?” I said, “Well Rose, when you are a child of God, holding to the Light…”

Our experience of a spiritual life can begin to interfere with the difference between knowing and believing. One of the differences between knowing and believing is whether or not your respect for other people is spiraling upward or spiraling downward. If you are quite sure that you know how Heaven is constructed and who God is and how the Divine works, then every time you listen to someone with a different understanding, chances are your capacity to disrespect them is spiraling in a way that increases that disrespect. Whereas if you have your ideas and you believe how things are constructed in spiritual life, rather than ‘knowing’ it, you may learn something different. You may be open to continuing revelation. In that case, your capacity to listen to another person who thinks differently actually increases.

Understanding Responses to Pain
In terms of being in the Light during troubled times, I want to take a close look at what we understand about pain. What do you understand about the pain in your life? All of us have some pain. Maybe it’s an old pain, maybe it’s a new pain, maybe it’s something that has passed and left an impression. Maybe it’s something that’s happening right now. What it is that you know about your pain and your response to that pain? And how is that different from the people around you? How do those other people respond to trouble in their life?

Think about crying. How is it that you cry? When is it you allow yourself to cry? I find that if I cry about two hours a week, I can keep about even with my grief for the pain of the world, with my grief for the pain within our nation, with my grief for the pain within my own individual life. What are the circumstances under which you allow yourself to cry? And how is that different from the people around you? Some folks need to be alone, some folks need to be with someone else, but that other person can’t really pay attention. Other people need to be with someone, but the need to be held while they’re weeping.

What is it you understand about how you respond to pain? Has that changed? Is that changing now? Does that change with the different kinds of pain you experience?

Something else I would remind us of is that the Light, the Divine, the presence of reverence, is constant—just as sunlight is constant. When there is a cloud or there is nighttime, we understand that the sun is coming back around, and the sun is still shining even if we can’t see it. The Divine, the Light, is the same way. It is there, it is constant. It doesn’t leave, it doesn’t go away. It is we who are interrupted in that connection to the Divine. It is we who lose track of the fact that we ourselves are aspects of the Divine, that we are the breath and the fingers of the Divine.

How is it that we reawaken ourselves to come back, and understand that we are aspects of the Divine? What brings you back to your own greatest wisdom, to your own best capacity to receive spiritual guidance?

One more idea about trouble: the only way that I am able to go and do my work, where I witness so much suffering, is to understand that trouble and pain have a function, and that function is learning. Any kind of trouble or pain we have experienced has parts and pieces of it we can learn from. And it is in the learning that we move pain and suffering into knowledge and wisdom. Whatever pain you have now, somehow, there are ways to understand the parts of that pain so that it is less fierce within you. Somehow, there are some ways to consider it in parts and pieces, not just as a big block with no handles on it. And when there is pain or conflict or trouble where there is no learning going on, the conflict simply remains pain and trouble and conflict.

An old friend of mine used to give thanks for his troubles. His prayer would be, “Thank You, dear Lord, for this pain in my life. I know I didn’t do very well with it today, but I’m sure if you bring it back again tomorrow, I can try again and improve.” I have never been able to sincerely say that myself. I have only gotten to the point of being able to say, “Thank You that it didn’t hurt as much as it could have.”

When I was sixteen and first came to Quakers, I felt so much that I kept coming back. And I began to understand that Quakerism is cumulative. The more you enter into the silence and the stillness, the more that you ask to be washed in the Light, the more that you participate, the more you begin to understand that there is ground opening up beneath you that is larger and deeper than you first imagined. As members of the Religious Society of Friends, as Quakers, we have a duty to come to that place which I think of as a spiritual pinnacle, which is to be in awe of Creation. We are called to that point of stillness and deep-centeredness, whether in Meeting for Worship or in service, where we can look at the most beautiful and the most horrific and be in awe of the creation of all of it, and be astounded, and be grateful. We have an obligation as Quakers to continue to try and reach for this place where we can be in awe of all creation.

Visit John’s website: www.johncalvi.com.

On Tuesday, Friends trickled into Walker Creek Ranch’s campus on bicycles and in cars, arriving throughout the day and well into the night. Few Friends missed the terrific heat of the inland valleys, though many were chilled by as much as a fifty-degree drop in temperature. After dinner, clerk Joe Franko welcomed Friends with the roll call plenary session. Singing and socializing commenced thereafter.
Friends awoke in a heavy blanket of cool fog, which rolled in and out over the course of the day, never lifting completely. Breakfast was followed by an hour and a half of open children created a merry clamor of departure fifteen minutes in. Friends also met for the first time in their worship sharing groups, and were invited to consider queries relating to community.

Friends gathered in the afternoon for a series of plenaries, beginning with the reading of epistles from other yearly meetings. Nominating Committee presented their draft slate; the clerk reminded Friends to express their appreciation for all those who serve the life of the Yearly Meeting, particularly those who take on more challenging jobs. Arrangements and Registrar positions remain unfilled at this time.

Site Committee reported that PYM’s Annual Gathering in 2010 will be at Claremont-McKenna College in Claremont, California, July 26-31. The site was chosen due to relatively reasonable cost, accessibility, ease of transportation, and a host of other considerations. The date of the gathering had to be shifted forward a week from what had initially been proposed due to a complete lack of available sites in August.

Friends were then invited to consider PYM’s Youth Coordinator proposal. Developed and seasoned over the course of the past year, this proposal is available in full on PYM’s website. In short, it recommends PYM hire a full-time staff person to provide support for youth programming for Friends ages 13-35. (A synopsis of the proposal is also available in the June issue of WF.) Friends were invited to bring forward questions for the subcommittee regarding the process, or to clarify details of the proposal. The subsequent meeting for worship on the occasion of business ranged widely, with many Friends expressing strong support for the proposal; others suggested alternate means for improving and supporting youth in PYM, while still others expressed concerns about the safety of youth, the cost (the proposal requires nearly doubling the per-member assessment to $76), and overall design of the proposal.

Friends were then asked to season until Friday a minute that would approve a three-year trial of having a full-time youth coordinator, with a lowering of the age range to include those ten years of age and above, and an emphasis on addressing the safety concerns raised by parents and other community members. Friends were also reminded to join the interest group on Wednesday for further discussion.

Dinner was followed by a heart and thought-filled presentation by Rolene Walker about her Peace for Earth Walk. She shared slides of her journey, most of it on foot, through eleven countries in Latin and South America. Despite a root canal without anesthesia, blood blisters on her feet, and the depressing vistas of roadside trash, she elicited laughter from the gathered Friends, and focused on a message of hope for the future of the planet and the environment. “This will take the same amount of effort as World War Two—only with all of us on the same side.”  Several Friends who walked part of the way with Rolene also shared stories of their journeys.

Singing, conversation, and evening strolls continued well into the wee hours!